Everyone can orgasm, but not everyone does. Coming’ isn’t all that easy – if you’re a woman! Nearly all MEN can climax without difficulty, but women just aren’t built that way. For a man sexual intercourse alone, that is, penetration of a woman’s vagina by a man’s penis may be sufficient to climax. But it very often is not enough to make a woman reach orgasm.
What is it?
Orgasm is the pinnacle of sexual passion. It is the moment of intense pleasure, which results into feeling relaxed and at ease. The female orgasm lasts a few seconds, followed by a feeling of relaxation and pleasure. Continued stimulation may also result in further orgasms, which though is difficult for females of certain age group.
Types of orgasm
Basically there are two types of orgasms that women experience, based on the two different zones of stimulation. The first is a clitoral orgasm, wherein the clitoris is stimulated by lightly touch or stroking it. The second type of orgasm is a vaginal orgasm. This comes from pressure being applied to the “G” spot, usually by the tip of the man’s penis. The “G” spot is located on the anterior wall of the vagina, about 2 inches from the opening. Both these experiences are different and women who have experienced both types of orgasms know the difference. However the fact is very few women reach orgasm solely as a result of the penis penetrating the vagina; it’s more likely to happen through stimulation (touching/rubbing/kissing) of the clitoris – the highly sensitive bump located at the top of the vaginal lips.
Following positions are helpful to reach climax by stimulating the “G” spot:
1. Woman on top of man
2. Woman lying on her stomach, with man on top, entering her vagina from behind.
Factor responsible for orgasm
1. Sexual frequency. In order to reach climax it is important that you have regular sex. The more time that passes between sexual encounters, the harder it is for a woman to become aroused, and less likely to have an orgasm.
2. Another important thing is you should be relaxed and tension free. For a woman to get the most out of the sexual encounter, she must be comfortable with the surroundings and also with the relationship. Thus orgasm is impossible in a situation where there is tension, or lack of trust in the marriage.
3. Also what is important is a understanding and caring partner who know how to stimulate and arouse you and who helps you reach climax.
How can men help?
Remember one thing that to reach orgasm it is very important that your man co-operates with you and understands you and your body. Therefore don’t feel shy to tell him how to make love to you and what arouses you and touching, kissing, stroking which part of your body will make you climax. Therefore next time you make love guide him to help you reach orgasm. However following are the things men need to know.
- Tell her that she’s marvellous, sexy and beautiful.
- Remember that most women need stimulation of the clitoris. Touching/kissing/stroking will help reach orgasm.
- Give her oral sex. Most women adore this and some claim that they cannot come unless a man ‘goes down’ on them.
- Caress her breasts or her sensitive spots. A few women climax through breast fondling alone or simply by stroking their sensitive spots.
- Don’t be too proud to ask her to show you what she wants.
- If you come before her, don’t stop there but try to help her climax too by kissing and stimulating her.
- Remember to provide an atmosphere of love, romance, security and compassion.
What can you do to help yourself ?
A woman who experiences no or few orgasms can learn to bring herself to climax, over time with little patience and self-stimulation. Patience is needed because it will take time to learn the spots, the touches, feelings and thoughts that will arouse you and continue to arouse you to the point of climax. At first the techniques can be practiced alone, but then with your partner since he too has to be taught how to make love to you.
When alone explore your body – touch and stoke yourself in the way you would like to be caressed by your lover – learn and enjoy those things that really stimulate you.
Once you know what stimulates you and helps you reach climax share these experiences with your partner; guide him around those parts of your body that aroused you when you stimulated them – let him find other ways to arouse you too.
Let your partner stimulate your clitoris during foreplay, when you find yourself on the brink of orgasm after your partner has touched and caressed your clitoris, move straight on to intercourse, with you or your partner continuing to stimulate your clitoris.