A study published in the June issue of the journal Human Nature maintained that women regretted one-night stands more than men. (Really? You don’t say?)
The survey, led by Durham University professor Anne Campbell, reports that 80 percent of men had an overall positive feeling about casual sex compared to 54 percent of women. The study also reports that most women will only embark on a fleeting sexual encounter if they think it will “lead to a full blown relationship” and feel used and ashamed when it goes no further.
Researchers claimed the permissiveness sparked during the 1960s was supposed to “free women to enjoy casual sex just like men” but had “failed.”
The study, which was based on an Internet survey of how men and women felt the morning following a one-night stand, concluded that women “have not adapted” to meaningless sex because it did not suit them at this stage in evolution. It said men are more likely to benefit from numerous short-term partners. For women, however, quality seems to be more important than quantity.
Considering that the project originated at Durham University in England, I have to wonder where these survey participants were from. They certainly didn’t interview some of the women I’ve come across in South Florida.
Now don’t send e-mails accusing me of lumping all women here into the “Friend with Benefits” category. Obviously that is not the case. But there are plenty of women in South Florida who are nonchalant about one-night stands.
I have known women who told me the only reason they were calling a specific person or traveling to a certain location was for sex. With a friend. With no strings attached.
They told me it was biological. They needed it. They were human.
“Women have booty calls, too, you know,” a female friend once told me. “What, do you think you guys are the only ones with guarantees in your phone?”
I was on a holiday weekend excursion with friends, and one woman in our group met someone from out-of-state. Before heading home, she ended up spending the night at his hotel. And she had no doubts the next day. She just wanted to.
For guys, the study is pretty much on target. But there are times when we overthink a steady fling and hope it may lead to eternal bliss. One guy friend thought his friend with benefits was only a phone call away. What he didn’t realize was that it was actually the other way around. When she stopped returning his calls, he started to get depressed. Why the sad face? He had focused on their future together instead of taking stock of what was going on in the present. (Really, guys, why do we overthink so much? Just keep things simple. Read the situation and react instinctively.)
However, there are exceptions. I know one couple who actually started out as a phone-a-friend and in the process developed feelings for each other. They’re now inseparable and are on the road to engagement.
Perhaps they should head across the pond and hold a lecture at Durham U.
By: Fred Gonzalez