Will I Ever Have Sex and or a Relationship?


It is not uncommon for people to have mixed feelings about having sex and/or a relationship with someone else. One of the common myths about gay men and lesbians is that they don’t have long term relationships. Like other myths this is not true. Lesbian, gay, and bisexual people do have positive sexual relationships and experiences that include genuine feelings of affection and pride in their sexual identity. Valuing yourself, taking your time and using your best judgement may help to make your sexual experiences fun, exciting and satisfying.

If you choose to have sex with someone you should think about Sexually Transmitted Infections (STI’s) such as HIV/AIDS. From more information on STI’s you may want to check out the link to the Family Planning website on the right hand side of this fact sheet.

I Get Scared and Down Sometimes

It may not be easy to realise that you are gay, lesbian or bisexual. It is not uncommon to hear jokes, the wrong ideas and the hurtful stereotypes about gay, lesbian and bisexual people. Even when they are not directed at you they may be hurtful.

You may worry if you are normal, or if others have experienced the same feelings you have. It may be stressful worrying whether others will find out about your feelings. Other people, and sometimes ourselves, may fear and even hate what they don’t understand.

The majority of people who have accepted their sexuality and themselves are happy and would not want it any other way. Acknowledging a part of yourself that goes against what most people feel comfortable with may be a brave thing to do. Being brave and courageous does not mean you don’t get scared. It doesn’t mean you can’t ask for help.

Even when you are comfortable with your same sex attractions and feelings, life may continue to present challenges. If possible try not to judge yourself for feeling sad or scared.

Many young people dealing with their sexuality have joined groups, participated in courses or called the Gay and Lesbian Counselling Service. They found meeting or talking to other young people with the same experiences helped them feel less alone. Having the support of people who understand may help you feel better about yourself.