Lovemaking does not always have to be a loud, rowdy affair. You can use the intimate time with your partner to develop a deeper bond in your relationship emotionally.
A softer tone to your love life can actually develop your relationship, anchor you emotionally with your loved one and can even save your marriage suggest experts. While there is a lot of hype about having a rocking love life, it is quite clear that quality time is better than the amount of noise couples make in bed. Thus, we have a list of seven tips that would help you slow down the pace of action and in the process, lengthen the bond you share with your loved one.
Extend the time you give to foreplay
Developing a carnal connection is not necessarily about getting the instant orgasm. It’s about savouring every touch and sensation that magnifies the physical and emotional bond. Better foreplay has a bigger payoff than scoring an orgasm. The sexual tension of anticipation leads to a more intense orgasm.
For instance, spending some time kissing and caressing creates a mutual stimulation that has a meditative quality, allowing one identify each sensation. Another option is to treat someone to a tantalizing experience by touching him from head to toe.
The spine is a wonderful area for this exercise. You could let your hands glide down his spine or run your fingers along the crease of his upper thigh. Also let him explore your erogenous zones, leading to a deeper emotional bonding because you are choosing to expose your vulnerability, as he will too.
Breathing in unison can make you both feel completely connected. A focus on the same rhythm can get you into a trancelike state. It takes you into a ‘zone’ where you’re very aware of your partner and your external environment seems to fade into oblivion.
To synchronize your breathing, get into a one-to-one body position, such as spooning or coital alignment. Or sit nose-to-nose with your legs wrapped around each other and your hands on each other’s chests so you can feel your heartbeats. Then inhale and exhale, slowly and deliberately, paying special attention to your partner’s pace as you caress and kiss. Breathing in tandem can help your excitement levels rise at the same rate too and could be the beginning of a great night ahead.
Don’t shut those eyes
As the outside world fades into oblivion, focus inward and stress on the senses. Gazing at your partner forces you to concentrate on each other. Many women feel isolated during sex because you both tend to become so caught up in your own physical pleasure that you don’t really bother with eye contact. Making eye contact is a way to communicate since it bridges that gap and makes you aware of your man’s presence.
Again, eye contact is not exactly staring. It is more like you’re looking inside of him rather than just at him. Study his facial expression and try to imagine what he’s thinking and feeling, especially when he nears orgasm. Locking each other’s gaze at this most personal moment is also a way of building trust.
While some orgasmic encounters come with loud decibel levels, screams and other dramatics, a whisper can speak much louder. A soft spoken ‘I love you’ on your man’s ear (the ear by the way is a great erogenous zone) can do wonders. Affirm your love for your partner with words as you both move to a beautiful rhythm of love and longing. Experts suggest that words have the power to heal, to give your partner confidence and to develop a comfort zone inside the bedroom (and the brain).
Rest and Relax!
The act is not over when it’s over. Resting in bed and cuddling next to your lover after orgasm is just as healthy. No words are required at this stage but the feeling of belonging to one another; of staying there for the other’s sake suggest a non-selfish , non-hurried attitude which can be extremely heartwarming.
Let your stereo do the talking
Even after washing up and getting ready for bed, there is nothing like a soft gentle lullaby for your man. Soft soothing music or a romantic tune of his choice can create a lingering sensation of the experience.
Creating the Mood and ambience
Candles, aromatic oils and other knick-knacks are not clichés: they can genuinely lead to a wonderful ambience towards a softer, more sensuous equation in the bedroom.