Add novelty to your style
32 year old Aradhna had sported shoulder length hair throughout her relationship with her guy. She got her hair cut every month but he never ever noticed. But one day, when she returned with short red hair, Arun couldn’t get over it. He couldn’t stop touching her. He felt that he was getting intimate with a redhead. There is a reason that Aradhna’s new hairdo excited Arun: “Men register eye-catching changes to your appearance, and it draws them to you,” Lori Buckley, Psy.D.is quoted to have said. “Adding novelty will keep his desire for you strong.”
The change has to be a visible one- one that will engage his interest immediately. “To activate his desire, it has to be a departure from your everyday look,” says David Buss, Ph.D., author of The Evolution of Desire. If you are habitually in a salwaar kameez, you could try a new pair of tights. Or go for a completely new look in fishnet stockings and a mini skirt. You could even try out some dark, sexy makeup and try going bra-less, with an extra bounce in your step.
Stroke his ego
Just because men don’t ask you, “Baby, am I looking sexy in my new underwear?” doesn’t mean that he is not looking for compliments like you are.
If a man won’t ‘fish for compliment’ doesn’t mean that he does not love his ego to be stroked. What a man really loves and desires is to be desired. When he hears words of praise from you, it re-enforces his feelings for you. If you tell him that you desire him, He’s going to be very hot to live up to what you feel for him.
But, it’s not as simple as that. Men hate gushing and overdoing the mush that puts them off. So, the more exclusive the praise to him, the more genuine it feels. Says Himani, “My guy is obsessive about cleaning the bathroom, so whenever I go in, I always say how clean the mirror is or how the tiles are shining.” He may just grunt and turn away but deep down, he love it. And if you talk about how good it was for you last night…you can expect a torrid time tonight as well.
Give him a sensory association
Go back memory lane to when you first fell in love with your man. What are the memories that you associate with that time? Apart from the butterflies in your tummy, of course. If you can figure out the sensory associations that he has with the time when romance was fresh and new, you’ve figured out the instant love-rush recipe. When he experiences that memory- a smell, a taste, a song- it will trigger a physical reaction and generate an immediate rush of love and longing.”
Says Abhinav, “Hearing the song ‘Everything I do, I do it for you’ by Bryan Adams and smelling the perfume of musk takes me back to the time when we spent our honeymoon in Goa, where she wore that perfume all the time. That scent gives me the jolt all over again.” To get your guy in the mood, start using an old brand of perfume, visit a romantic place where you had a wonderful time or start an early dating ritual. You may not even have to say anything. The sensory associations are usually so strong that he’ll be transported back at once and get into the romantic mood of that time.
Let him feel that you’re desired
This maybe strange to hear but men do get turned on by their partners when they are desired by other men. To make him focus towards you completely, just catch the attention of another man and watch how he turns his laser beam on you. You can’t believe that this is the guy who didn’t even bother to acknowledge your new dress when you left home.
Says Karuna, “I know I’m in the center of my guy’s gaze when we walk into a party or a bar and the other guys there check me out. I can actually feel Varun thinking, “Eat your hearts out guys: she’s with ME. Not just that, he is certainly sticking on tighter when there’s competition around.”
To get him to cling to you, flash a flirty smile at one of the guys at the bar or touch his friend’s hand and laugh at one of his jokes when you know your man is watching. Also, do doll up when you know that there is a possibility of you being in the center of other guys’ attention. It’s a great ego boost for you and perversely, for your man also. He is the one who knows that no matter how much the others may want you, he is the one you are going home with.