Birds do it. Bees do it. But how do they know how to make love? Instinct. Humans have it too. It’s an inborn instinct to procreate with the ones we love. And that instinct has led to over six billion people on this earth, so it can’t be all that difficult. But if you need a guide on how two people “connect,” then here are a few steps on how to make love.
Find a willing and clean partner. Ideally, you and the partner will be in a serious, monogamous relationship. While casual sex could be fun, it can lead to painful or life-threatening sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) and unwanted pregnancy.
Discuss the possibility of sexual relations with your partner. Find out their sexual history, and discuss if you are mature enough and emotionally ready to have sex. If you can’t say “I love you” to the person, you are not ready to have sex.
Purchase birth control and STD prevention. The female can choose from a variety of birth control methods, while the male should purchase condoms.
Find the right moment. Making love is often a spontaneous event, and too much planning can ruin the mood. However, you want to be sure you are in a safe environment where no one will barge in on you.
Slowly undress and begin foreplay. Foreplay is the kissing and touching that occurs before sex. While the male will want to jump right in to the sex, the female requires a bit of warming up. Think of the man as a microwave and the woman as a crockpot–they take different times to get to the same “temperature.”
Lay horizontally on a bed. The man can be on top of the woman, his body in between her legs, and their genitals aligned. This is called the missionary position, and it is one of many different positions for making love.
Insert the erect penis into the vagina. If the vagina is dry and it is hard to insert, use a few drops of lubricant.
Engage in a rhythmic, tandem motion with your hips, carefully and slowly moving the penis in and out of the vagina. It may take a few minutes (or months) to get your rhythm together.
As partners near climax, the rhythm will increase, as will the body heat and verbal declarations of love. Upon climax, the male will release sperm into the condom or vagina, and his penis will deflate.
The male will roll off the partner. Hold each other, exchange your promises of love and enjoy the afterglow.
Tips & Warnings
- Sex is short. Don’t worry if you last just a few seconds. That happens to nearly all first time love-makers. And experienced ones too.
- If the male achieves climax, but the female does not, the male can stimulate her clitoris with his fingers.
- To heighten the pleasure for a male partner, the female can gently caress his testicles or the fleshy area between his anus and the base of his testicle sack.
- For extra pleasure for the females, the male should gently rub the woman’s clitoris with his finger or thumb. Don’t know where it is? Ask her. Or search for the small swollen appendage (the size of a pea) about 2 inches above her vagina.
- The male should do short, rhythmic thrusts, being careful not to pull the penis too far out, otherwise it could slip out of the vagina. If it falls out and you keep pumping, the penis could bend and it will hurt. Not to mention, it will ruin the mood.
- There are special lubricants for sex available at the drug store. Do not use household oils or lubricants as they could burn or cause injury.
- No birth control is 100% effective, except abstinence.
- Because it is better to be safe than sorry, both partners should take an HIV/AIDs test before having sex.
- Even if the woman is on birth control, use a condom to protect against STDs.