When your relationship isn’t a humdrum affair, then why should your sex life be dull and lifeless? There’s more to a rocking sex life than just simple, great sex.
A marvelous sexual connection includes different kinds of sex, even the ones you haven’t dared to experiment with perhaps. Check out the different kinds of love making acts you and your lover can indulge in for a night of passion.
Couples in long-term relationship often opt for this kind of act as they miss the excitement and lust filled initial-days of their relationship. With time, a couple’s love life loses its zing and to get it back one needs to try new things. “Try pushing the regular comfort zones. It may mean trying a new position or a new room in the house; you can even go for thrilling experiences like making love on the terrace or in the balcony or at some public place.” explains Meera Wahi, married for last nine years.
Why to try : There’s nothing like the moment when you’re struggling for breath thinking, “That was amazing, we’ve never done that before.” Experts suggest that no matter how long you’ve been in a relationship, you need to have an earth-shattering sexual experience every once in a while. What’s more try pushing the boundaries, as this will heighten the trust between you two, create an exceptional comfort level and minimise the possibilities of casual flings outside the relationship. So, go ahead and clue in to your partner’s covert bedroom urges to transform the every-night mediocre sex to a mind-blowing encounter. You’ll harvest the sensually gratifying perks too.
Necessary sex can be explained as ‘just-for-the-heck-of-it sex’, which is vital for a long-term relationship to retain its sexual spark. These are your very special, intimate ‘me-time’ moments which relieve stress, burns calories and lift spirits. Supports Mihika, a 31-year-old, new mom, “As a new mom, I am tired most of the times. However, I make special effort to get going in the bed and this makes me feel closer to him. Even if the sex isn’t that good, it feels like the relationship has become stronger.”
Why to try : Necessary sex is all about decreasing sexual anxiety, accomplishing the Big O, and feeling good about your sexual prowess. Experts say that regular physical contact actually tunes the brain into the need to feel emotionally close. By making sex a regular habit, you can open new avenues of bonding as a couple. Moreover, doing it sometimes when you are not in the perfect mood can gear you up for something much hotter the next time around. And most importantly, don’t forget how much a hit-the-roof orgasm does to keep your sex spark bright.
Admit it, for it’s something that’s bound to happen. An awkward grunt, a stupid expression, somebody walking in unexpectedly or may be slipping down the bed, all of us can have these embarrassing moments that we would like to ideally forget. Akhil, a 27-year-old choreographer, recollects, “We’d been together since last one year. The last time we were having sex, her roommate just walked in. We didn’t know what to say. Finally I said, ‘Whoops!’ and we laughed our heart out. The voyeurism added to the fire, needless to say.”
Why to try : Don’t fret about imperfect moments in your sex life; just rejoice and hold your lover tight. Your ability to deal with embarrassing situations reflects the strength of your relationship, say experts. Real understanding is about being able to feel at ease with each other in awkward circumstances as well. Emotional presence and trust is the biggest aphrodisiac of all and often provides the sexual thrill which can last a lifetime. React positively to embarrassing sexual mishaps and she will add funny, cute and smart to her mental list of reasons as to why she chooses to be intimate with you.
A new, romantic locale often allows lovers to rediscover each another in a new light. Amidst trying different platters, adventure sports or checking out a variety of nightlife activities, every evening feels like a special date night. Vacation sexcapades act as a catalyst to reignite the passion in a relationship and make a couple feel more connected. “When on a vacation, you’re at your most carefree best, which means you can try out new things you won’t have to be accountable for at home. We went to Kerala on a friend’s recommendation, and needless to say we had the best sex ever,” shares Sidhartha, a 39-year-old business man.
Why to try : Something about leaving the laptop behind, turning the cell phone off and relaxing makes the sex better. Experts say that being in a totally alien environment sparks a sense of adventure and boldness in couples. All of this adds up to stimulating sex, which is more gratifying and more memorable than what couples have at home. Moreover, a vacation is the best place to get ‘sexperimental’. When people encounter new experiences, dopamine spikes in the brain, eliciting a feeling of all encompassing lust. This is one of the reasons a vast majority of relationship counsellors recommend regular getaways as one of the things that can help strengthen your bond.
There is nothing like engaging in a sexual reconciliation after a long, gut-wrenching argument. The quality of such sex is directly proportional to the amount of time spent apart; courtesy – the phenomenal release of emotions. “After all the screaming and blaming is over and we proceed towards reconciling, I fall in love with him all over again. This after-fight sex gives me the same kick as that ‘beginning sex’ when we first meet. All of that anger is released into passion and it’s like we just want to tear down the place,” admits Mehul, who’s been married for seven years.
Why to try : Experts believe that make-up sex is a quick and effective way to get rid of the frustrations from a past argument. Also, it gives women the opportunity to be sexually aggressive, which might be a welcome change. This kind of sex is overloaded with passion because you have the rush of very intense emotions, from anger to joy. And when you’re intimate like that, you’re likely to have a strong orgasm, which releases Oxytocin, the bonding hormone which creates a physiological bonding mechanism between you and your beau.
If you are feeling miserable, dejected, anguished or lonely, sex can be the perfect remedy. Soothing sex is more emotional, more engaging and possibly more expressive than the usual act, because the desire to connect to life is enormous. You concentrate on cuddling and affection, rather than on climaxing. Diksha Ramani shares her experience, “My husband lost his mom and my brother was going though a cancer ordeal. In those times, we resorted to sex. It just distracted us from all our problems and reiterated the fact that we are there for each other. It was like a life-asserting act in the face of grief.”
Why to try : Research points out towards the fact that those who can count on their partners to be there for them emotionally have sex more often and enjoy it all the more. Experts say that making each other feel loved and cared for is the most powerful way to bring the psychological and physical elements of your relationship together. Solace sex intensifies your bond with your lover and makes lovemaking a great source of eroticism and ecstasy. Such consoling acts may not necessarily be exciting, but it makes you feel very good and lifts up your dampened spirits. Moreover, when people feel safe with each other, they can also deal with their differences and problems effortlessly.
With sensual sex, it’s not only about where you and your partner are going, but the process that gets you there. Remember that women aren’t the only ones who desire slow-burn sexual intimacy. So whenever you have the gift of time, indulge in expressive lovemaking, which can be a blissful surprise and act like a relationship booster. “Knowing that he cares enough to love me for hours makes me feel very good. At that time, I feel as if I am his one and only priority. And trust me, such emotional benefits do have long-lasting effects,” says Ridhima.
Why to try : Experts believe that supersensual sex is an extension of selfless love, which fulfills, satisfies, and helps couples bonds. This is when emotional candidness and sensitivity, affectionate touches and erotic exploration all unite. The key requirement here is not crazy sexual techniques, but a safe emotional acquaintance. Moreover, your bond in general feels more cherished when you turn the bedroom into a place which is not just about sexual sensations. The safer we feel emotionally, the more we can communicate, express our needs, play and explore our responses, and relax into sexual feelings.
Do not bind your experiences to the standard fare, when there’s a whole sensual world out there for you both to explore. After all, spicing up your sex routine can bring the much-required mystery and adventure to your love life, and keep it grooving.