It’s a fact: Putting the moves on your man is one of the best things you can do for your sex life. Why? Well, for starters, making the first move makes you feel powerful, in tune with your own erotic energy, and in charge of your desires. That’s pretty sexy stuff. And it makes him feel great, too: Believe it or not, no matter how long you’ve been together, your guy’s ego is on the line every time he asks you to make love. He needs to know you want him just as much as he wants you. By initiating sex, you’re showing your enthusiasm for him and for your partnership. Everybody wins!
It may not be your style to blatantly say, “Let’s make love tonight.” Perhaps you’re more of a nudge-and-a-wink kind of girl. Which is fine, as long as he understands your subtle moves. You may think that your over the-shoulder smile as you head toward the bedroom speaks volumes, while he may think it means you’re thrilled to be getting to bed so early. Try these silent but unmistakable love zingers to signal that you want him…tonight…right now. He’ll get the message.
No Time for Sex?
Try one of these 15 superhot moves, made to fit any schedule!
When you have 60 seconds:
– Plan a sex day. Slip him a note in the morning that says, “I’ll meet you in our bedroom in 12 hours. Be there and be naked.”
– Sneak a sexy picture in with his mail, in an envelope marked “For Your Eyes Only.”
– Try the direct route: Take his hand, place it on your thigh – and then slide it higher, and higher…
When you have 5 minutes:
– Kiss him awake. Then keep on kissing.
– Using an eyeliner pencil, scribble “Kiss me” or “Stroke me” on your stomach, breast, or any other body part, adding arrows to tell him where to go (and what to do) next. He’ll love discovering the secret message when you get undressed – and you’ll love getting exactly what you want, where you want it.
– Tell him you need to borrow his car keys, then treat yourself to a grope in his front pocket as you fish around for them.
– When he’s getting dressed, mention that his belt is off-center, then do a sensual hands-on readjustment, with a promise for more personal “styling” later tonight.
When you have 15 minutes:
– Give him a reverse striptease one morning before work: Put on a sizzling CD and, making sure he has a clear view, get dressed slooowly, swaying your hips to the beat. – – – – Bend over while you pull up your skirt, and arch your back while you hook your bra. He’ll be thinking about peeling those clothes back off of you all day long.
– Greet him with a big fluffy towel when he’s stepping out of the shower, and give him a long, loving rubdown from head to toe.
– When getting undressed in the evening, take off everything – yes, everything – but your high heels (and if you don’t usually wear heels, put some on!). Casually walk around the bedroom as if you just haven’t bothered to kick them off yet.
– Draw him a map: Leave a line of Hershey’s Kisses in the hall leading into the bedroom, ending in an arrow pointing toward the bed.
– Trim your bikini line just a little bit more than usual. He’ll notice.
When you have an entire hour:
– Set the alarm an hour earlier than usual, but don’t tell him. When he groans about it going off at the wrong time, just smile and whisper back, “No, it didn’t.”
– Leaf through a sex book (you can’t go wrong with a classic like The Joy of Sex) and mark the things you’re dying to try. Then leave the book on his nightstand (wrap it in brown paper if you’re worried about the kids discovering it).
– Send him off with a grocery list: chocolate sauce, honey, powdered sugar, whipped cream. Then dial his cell once he’s at the store and spell out exactly what you plan on doing with it.
Read My Hips
Simply adjusting the way you move your body is a fast and sexy way to signal your desire. Here are eight moves that’ll make him weak in the knees.
1. Touch his knee or let your thighs touch when sitting together.
2. Caress his face.
3. Ask him to zip up your dress, then stand extraclose while he does it.
4. “Accidentally” brush your breasts against his arm as you squeeze by him. This is especially effective in public – he’ll be ripping your clothes off in the car on the way home.
5. Sit on his lap – at a party, while having a picnic, in your living room while he’s lounging in an armchair – and align your private parts with his. Want to make him groan? Every now and then shift your weight just a bit.
6. Slip on a must-dance CD and gyrate by yourself for a minute or two, then gesture for him to join you.
7. The next time the mercury is high, raise his temperature by running an ice cube down your neck, over your collarbone, and between your breasts.
8. Kiss him – but not just any old peck. Straddle his lap and brush your lips all over his body.
Create a Code
If saying it – or showing it – still feels like too much of a leap for you to make comfortably, try creating your own private ritual to signal that tonight’s the night.
Three silent seduction ideas:
– Place a specially designated pillow on the bed.
– Keep two identical objects (vases, china dogs, candlesticks) on opposite ends of a shelf or mantelpiece. Move them together to signal you want to cozy up tonight.
– Get a foreign coin or a special charm. Slip it into his pocket in the morning when you want to get frisky that night.
No Translation Necessary
When you want him to know you want him now, try one of these five very direct come-ons:
– “If you could picture what’s going through my mind right now, you’d be totally – and I mean totally – turned on.”
– “You know what I was thinking about today? That time we [insert a particularly X-rated moment from your sex history].”
– “The kids are napping/ next door for the next hour, and I do not have a headache.”
– “Want to join me in the shower?”
– “Let’s [bleep].”
Surprise: We can actually teach each other a few things.
4 things women can learn from men:
– If sex is being offered, take it – you never know when your next chance may come.
– Pictures of sexy naked people are fun to look at.
– Stay in the moment: A hot makeout session is not the time to think about tomorrow’s to-do list.
– If you want sex, don’t rely on subtle hints to get the message across – be clear and up-front about your desires.
4 things men can learn from women:
– Candlelight and soft music really do work.
– Whether it’s a kiss, a caress, or a long lovemaking session, slower is usually better.
– It’s okay to just cuddle (in fact, sometimes it’s even more intimate than sex).
– It’s also okay to not have an orgasm every time, as long as the rest is all good.
“Not now, honey” Reinvented
Just as important as knowing how to make a move is knowing the right way to turn him down when he makes a move and you’re not in the mood. That’s because anyone who gets rejected sexually will tend to think that not only are they not desired now, they have also never been, nor will they ever be, desired. Crazy? Definitely. But we’re talking about sex and egos – not exactly the ingredients for a logical conclusion. So here are six ways to say, “Not tonight, honey,” that will make him feel loved, if not completely satisfied:
1. Don’t just say a flat-out no. Instead of pushing him away, show some physical affection with kisses or a hug so he knows you’re not rejecting him, you’re just not in the mood to make love.
2. Give him a steamy rain check, in writing, itemizing exactly what you are going to do to him – and honor it.
3. Make a date for a specific time the following week, telling him that the anticipation will make the moment even more explosive.
4. Rent a movie that you know turns him on (yes, even if it is College Coeds on Spring Break) and encourage him to “enjoy” himself watching it.
5. Get him to use up sex-cess energy by writing down his top 10 favorite sex acts, and promise to fulfill one once a week.
6. Give him a fantastic massage…and who knows, maybe your no might turn into a yes after all.