Are you a lustful lothario or a randy rabbit? Do you prefer the thrill of a one-night stand or a sleepy Sunday shag with your long-term love?
Lustful lotharios (one-night stands)
100% lust – there are two categories of one night stand:
So much so you probably can’t see each other. Hiding the slight panic that you may have pulled a minger, you both fall on and off the bed as you try and get your pants off and more than likely both fall asleep before it actually happens. Probably the best plan, as brewer’s droop would’ve ruined your fun anyway! On the plus side you probably won’t remember in the morning and therefore will fool yourself that the late-night fumbling was fantastic.
- The quickie
- You’ve been after each other for months, that sexual tension has built so high you can no longer contain it and tonight IS the night. Clothes, if you take them off at all, trail from the bus stop to the hallway before the passion erupts. Carpet burns and spontaneous screaming ensues, and wow, it was fantastic, fast but f’n fantastic.
The pros: Sex with someone new is always a turn on, simple as that. You also don’t have to click on every other level, you don’t have to like each other’s friends or tolerate each other’s relatives.
The cons: The sex can be terrible – you often don’t give a damn about the other person, sleeping with them to please yourself and only yourself. Being this one-sided and not knowing each other’s bodies, it will be rare to have a mind-blowing shagathon. Lying there with someone you don’t know and don’t really want to know can feel lonely and empty, you don’t get the hugs and they probably couldn’t give a damn what you say in pillow talk.
Randy rabbits/first three months
Passion is still high, at least for the first three months and you’re at it like rabbits anytime, anywhere. No time to eat or sleep, you drive your flatmates mad, have broken the bed, shaken all the plaster off downstairs’ ceiling and only come up for air to ask for bumper sacks of condoms from the nearest family planning clinic.
The pros: Well practice makes perfect and all that jazz, so hopefully the sex will get better and better as you find which buttons to press. This time of discovery can be so much fun, even if it leaves you both walking funny for a while.
The cons: Just beware of carpets; burns can be quite unsightly, no really. Oh, and try not to take the sex for granted – holding out, even if just for a day can make the sex explosive, and avoid that shagged out rut.
Sickeningly smug/ long-term lovers
You know the type, the smug couple. They want to set you up with anyone and everyone just so that you can be as happy as them. They positively glow with an ‘I have sex on tap’ aura. Sickening maybe, but they are on to something – sex with someone you love brings a whole new side to the act. When you are relaxed and trust the other person you can try new things, talk about what you want and what you like and be as kinky as you dare.
The pros: Orgasm is virtually guaranteed for both, as you know what buttons to push and if they’re getting it wrong, tell them. Being all loved-up helps too, it adds a spiritual/ emotional fluffy bit to all the physical stuff. Plus you don’t just have the exhausting energetic sex of singledom, you can have sleepy Sunday shags, giggling gyrations and loved-up lie-ins – more fun all round.
The cons: It can be easy to start off having bad sex, faking it and pretending to have a good time. Once you get into such a rut, sex can be so dull you will avoid it at all costs. Some people do get bored having sex with the same person, others find having sex available on tap can make it less appealing. Also, some people just can’t bring themselves to tell their lover that they are finding the sex crap and they want to try new things.