Category: Marriage & Sexology


A Saudi woman wanted to give her husband a pleasant surprise on their second marriage anniversary by telling him that she was a ‘virgin again’ by using a artificial hymen from China.

Instead of applauding his wife, he divorced her.

They were celebrating their wedding anniversary at home in the Saudi capital in Riyadh when the woman happily revealed her ‘new virginity’ secret.

The man, however, was not amused. He divorced her immediately.

The Sharq daily quoted sources close to the couple as saying that the man suspected his wife of not being a virgin before their marriage as she could have used an artificial hymen then too.

The Arabic language newspaper did not identify the couple nor did it say how the woman obtained the hymen.

Such items are strictly banned in Saudi Arabia, one of the most conservative Muslim nations.

During intercourse, the artificial hymen will begin to ooze out a red liquid that looks like blood.

Source: emirates247.com

Never allow your foreign wife to return to her home country alone with the children, says MCA Public Services and Complaints Bureau chief Datuk Michael Chong.

He was advising Malaysians who married women from Vietnam, Indonesia and China through matchmaking agencies.

Chong said statistics showed that some 10% of such foreign wives who returned to their home countries with the children had refused to come back to the husbands.

“Many of them told their husbands they were just taking the children to visit her parents. But after they got there, they never returned,’’ he said.

As at July this year, six men had approached Chong to help get their children back from their wives, who were hiding in their homes of origin.

“Some of the husbands had gone to search for their wives but were not allowed to enter the villages.

“Two of them were even beaten up by the residents there,” he said.

Chong said he had received complaints from seven husbands last year.

He said the husbands had approached the Malaysian Embassy in the particular countries for help but nothing could be done.

He suspected that many of the foreign women marrying Malaysian men did so for a quick buck.

“Never let them go back alone with the children,’’ said Chong, in urging the husbands to always accompany their wives.

Source: The Star Online @ 9/8/2010.

Many Malaysians men aged 19 to 60 have confessed in a Universiti Sains Malaysia survey that they ejaculate even before having sexual intercourse with their partner.

The study/survey recorded case of a married couple who never had a fulfilled intercourse for four years because the husband was unable to control his excitement and would often ejaculate before penetration said USM Men’s Health Clinic head Assoc Prof Shaiful Bahari Ismail who did the study on premature ejaculation.

Some men hardly last a minute after intra-vaginal activity, adding that this caused distress and sexual boredom that might lead to divorce if the wife had a high sex drive.

According to his Premature Ejaculation Perception and Attitude study, about 29% of Malaysians aged between 19 and 60 suffer from some sort of premature ejaculation.

The percentage could be higher, considering many are unable to practise healthy and regular intercourse and also because they lead very stressful lives, he said in an interview here.

A World Health Organisation report said early ejaculation was the most common of all sexual difficulties among men and it was estimated that between 25% and 33% of men ejaculated “before they want to”.

Based on the studies, women who experienced problems of sexual fulfilment were more open to talk about the issue when interviewed without the presence of their husband or partner.

This is in contrast to men who would rather be in a denial mode even in one-to-one interviews.

When the denial is allowed to fester, it would lead to other problems like unnecessary stress.

This could lead to psychological problems and, if not controlled, would eventually affect their manhood and self-esteem.

The premature ejaculation was becoming a threat to Malaysians and might be one of the causes of the increasing divorce rate.

Malaysian men felt that it was taboo to speak about the condition and preferred to “sweep the problem under the carpet”.

Married women also preferred to be silent because it could affect their husbands’ self-esteem.

The family medicine specialist said there was no cure for premature ejaculation because it was “all in the mind”.

Source: The Star @ 18/07/2010.

Masaalah:

Keinginan melakukan hubungan seks terlalu kerap, malah hampir setiap hari.Apakah ini mendatangkan masalah kesihatan?

Jawaban:

Hubungan seks yang kerap walaupun pada kadar setiap hari, tidak akan menimbulkan apa-apa kemudaratan. Hubungan seks dianggap satu proses pemulihan (healing) yang baik untuk minda dan tubuh badan.

Berikut ialah beberapa kelebihan melakukan hubungan seks:-

1. Sejenis senaman.

Hubungan seks ialah salah satu bentuk aktiviti fizikal. Ketika hubungan berlaku, berlaku pelbagai perubahan fisilogi yang berlaku dalam badan seolah-olah seperti seseorang lelaki sedang menjalani aktiviti senaman.

Contohnya, semasa hubungan seks, tahap kadar pernafasan akan meningkat. Peningkatan pernafasan dan pernafasan yang dalam akan meningkatkan tahap oksigen dalam badan dan boleh memperbaiki sel-sel yang rosak. Kapasiti paru-paru juga akan meningkat. Begitu juga dengan degupan jantung, ia akan meningkat ketika hubungan seks dan ini akan meningkatkan aliran darah dalam badan.

Ketika hubungan seks, pelbagai otot mengalami kontraksi dan selepas hubungan seks, sering kali seseorang itu letih dan berpeluh. Ini bermakna ada aktiviti fizikal yang membakar kalori berlaku semasa hubungan seks. Dianggarkan, jika seseorang itu melakukan hubungan seks tiga kali seminggu dan setiap kali hubungan memakan masa 15 minit, orang itu akan menggunakan 7,500 kalori setahun. Ini umpama saudara berjoging sejauh 120 km. Hormon testosterone yang dikeluarkan ketika hubungan seks juga akan meningkatkan kekuatan otot dan menguatkan tulang.

2. Penawar kesakitan.

Semasa hubungan seksual, sejenis hormon yang dipanggil ‘endophine’ akan dirembeskan. Hormon endophine ini mempunyai fungsi melegakan kesakitan dan sejenis hormon penahan sakit.

Satu kajian dijalankan menunjukkan semasa hubungan seksual terutama semasa orgasma, seseorang tidak akan merasa kesakitan dan selepas hubungan seksual, kesakitan ringan akan berkurangan.

3. Perlindungan kepada kelenjar prostat.

Sebahagian besar dari cecair yang dikeluarkan semasa ejakulasi datangnya dari kelenjar prostat. Hubungan seks yang kerap dapat membantu meningkat produksi cecair yang baru serta dapat mengeluarkan cecair yang berada dalam kelenjar. Jika ejakulasi lama tidak berlaku, akan terjadi pengumpulan cecair dalam kelenjar dan ini boleh menimbulkan inflamasi atau keradangan pada kelenjar prostat.

4. Pengurangan risiko mendapat masalah mati pucuk (ED)

Lima puluh peratus dari lelaki yang berumur lebih dari 40 tahun akan mengalami masalah mati pucuk. Salah satu langkah pencegahan ialah dengan kerap melakukan hubungan seks.

Semasa proses ereksi berlaku, banyak darah dari arteri akan dipamkan ke batang zakar dan darah ini akan membawa oksigen dan nutrien kepada tisu batang zakar.

Proses ini akan mengekalkan kesihatan batang zakar dan ketegangan batang zakar.

5. Mengurangkan stress.

Sudah terbukti dari segi kajian saintifik bahawa hubungan seks yang kerap dapat mengurangkan stress. Ini adalah kerana semasa hubungan seks, badan akan menghasilkan dopamine iaitu sejenis kimia dalam badan yang boleh mengurangkan stress.

Sejenis kimia lagi yang dikenali sebagai oxytocin, juga dirembeskan dan hormon ini bertindak sebagai hormon yang memberi kesan kelegaan serta kesan positif terhadap keinginan dan nafsu seseorang lelaki.

6. Lain-lain kelebihan.

Kajian di negara Barat menunjukkan hubungan seks yang dinikmati dapat mengurangkan risiko penyakit jantung, mengurangkan sakit kepala, mengurangkan kemurungan serta dapat memberi kebaikan pada otot dan sendi. Selain itu, hubungan seks juga dapat mengukuhkan hubungan dan mengeratkan kasih sayang antara pasangan suami-isteri.

Rujukan: Dr.Zulkifli (Ruangan Tanya Doktor Berita Harian – 17/07/2010)

A Turkish woman has given birth to twins fathered by two different men with whom she had sex with on the same day.

The 24-year-old woman in Istanbul, identified only as CK, was reported to have sexual intercourse with her husband and lover on the same day when the twins were conceived.

Soon after giving birth, CK noticed that one of them looked like her lover and ran away in panic, leaving the twins with her husband.

The husband then requested for a paternity test on the children after neighbours alerted him over his wife’s betrayal.

A DNA test confirmed that the twins were fathered by different men.

sperm

According to the report, the man subsequently threw his wife and the baby conceived with the sperm of the other man out of the house.

CK attempted to return to her father’s house but the latter too disowned her.

She is currently seeking refuge in a women’s shelter while the government has taken custody of the child.

It was reported that CK had started a relationship with her lover, a married man with children, about six years ago.

When her family learned about it, they forced her to marry her current husband.

She, however, continued her affair with her lover.

The case of the twins is a rare phenomenon, known as heteropaternal superfecundation.

Selaput dara seseorang individu berbeza-beza daripada segi bentuk, ketebalan, bekalan darah dan seumpamanya.

Ada yang mempunyai selaput dara yang tebal, ada pula yang nipis seperti sehelai kertas. Ada yang melebar melingkari sekeliling bukaan faraj (bentuk cecincin), mempunyai sambungan di tengahnya (septate), menutupi keseluruhan bukaan faraj lubang halus menembusinya (fenestrasi), malah ada yang menutup terus (imperforate).

Ada selaput dara yang mempunyai banyak saluran darah, ada pula yang seolah-olah tiada langsung saluran darah. Ada yang bersifat sangat elastik sehingga boleh membenarkan kemasukan seperti jari menembusinya tanpa koyakan.

Nama selaput dara juga mungkin mengelirukan kerana bagi kebanyakan perempuan, ia tidaklah menyelaputi keseluruhan bukaan faraj, tetapi hanya seperti cecincin nipis yang mengelilingi tepian faraj terbabit. Lubang di tengahnya membolehkan aliran darah haid atau lelehan faraj keluar.

Pecah selaput dara bukanlah bermakna ia mengalami trauma teruk sehingga perlu ada pendarahan. Kadangkala selaput dara hanya terbelah sedikit saja kerana ia bersifat elastik.

Hanya apabila koyakan selaput dara mengenai saluran darah saja, barulah terdapat sedikit pendarahan. Hubungan seks eloklah dilakukan dalam keadaan si isteri sudah bersedia agar ia dapat dinikmati bersama.

Namun, ini tidak bermakna jika isteri tidak bersedia, pendarahan akan berlaku. Jika benar, sudah tentu ia dialami ibu lain yang didatangi suaminya dalam keadaan yang belum atau tidak bersedia.

Kadangkala, pendarahan boleh disebabkan luka pada sempadan di antara bibir kemaluan dengan bukaan faraj bahagian belakang (dinamakan fourchette posterior), ia boleh mengalami luka laserasi dan menyebabkan kesakitan pada setiap kali penetrasi hubungan seks.

There are quite a few early signs of pregnancy to look out for. It’s a huge change for your body and the early signs are a result of the hormonal changes taking place. Of course, the only way to be 100% sure is to take a pregnancy test.

Think you might be pregnant? Check out the early signs.

Missed a period

It’s the most obvious sign of pregnancy so if you’re unusually late it’s worth taking a pregnancy test.

The classic sign? Morning sickness!

Morning sickness affects everyone differently – you could feel nauseous or physically sick. It can start a few weeks after conception or even after just a few days. If you’re very lucky, you won’t experience it at all.

It’s not a very well described symptom – it can strike at any time of day or night, not just in the mornings!

Going to the toilet a lot!

If you notice you’re constantly running to the toilet, this could be a good sign that you’re pregnant. All of the hormonal changes your body goes through during the first trimester can make toilet stops more frequent.

Feeling tired?
One of the most common early signs of pregnancy is a feeling of complete exhaustion. It happens as a side-effect of a rise in the levels of the hormone progesterone in your body. So if there’s no other real reason for you to be so tired, check the other symptoms here to see if you could be pregnant.

A funny taste in your mouth

Some mums say that when they first became pregnant they got a funny taste of metal in their mouth. Other women develop an unexpected dislike for something familiar, like fish.

Changes to your breasts

The skin around your nipples is called your areola and one sign of pregnancy can be that it becomes noticeably darker and bigger.

Unexpected bleeding or cramps

Your fertilised egg will travel from your fallopian tubes and settle in your uterus to grow. This is known as implantation and happens between weeks 3 and 4.

Implantation sometimes causes side effects, including cramps and some light spotting that’s red, pink or brown in colour.


Confirm your suspicions with a pregnancy test

Of course there’s only one real way to be sure you’re pregnant. You can get a reliable positive result using a home pregnancy test from the first day of your missed period.

Men losing interest in sex?


Men are increasingly being used by men to put off sex, according to a survey.

Michele Weiner-Davis claimed that at least 25 per cent of all men suffer from low desire

The new poll by independent charity the Men’s Health Forum has found that 15 per cent of men aged between 18 and 59 admitted to a “lack of interest in sex”.

Relationship-counselling service Relate has revealed that there’s a 40 percent increase in the number of men saying they had gone off sex, compared with 10 years ago.

All the above men with low libido don’t face any physical problems; it’s just that they do not want to have sex.

Research has found that the growing trend of the drop in male desire is a direct result of women’s changing role in society.

Men get overwhelmed with the modern woman, who is confident and comfortable with her own sexual needs and desires.

Apart from that men are bombarded with an overload of sexual images on the Internet, cable TV and in magazines, so much so, that it may be leading them to prefer the ever-ready fantasy to the reality.

Renowned Chicago-based relationships therapist Michele Weiner-Davis caused a furore in the US by claiming that at least 25 per cent of all men suffer from low desire.

It was, “America’s best-kept secret,” UK’s The Sun quoted her as saying. Michael Gilbert, author of The Disposable Male , said: “Western men feel marginalised.”

“In a third of American homes where both partners work, women earn more than men. This tears at the fabric of male sexuality.”

“And the problem is further worsened by the number of overworked men who are turning to alcohol to relax after work, and it has been revealed earlier that booze interferes with testosterone.”

Phillip Hodson, a psychotherapist and author of Men: An Investigation Into The Emotional Male , said: “Sex is all about play.”

“Libido comes out of a moment of idleness and down time. But British men work the longest hours in Europe. Sex and the clock don’t go well together.”

“Men drink because it’s a short-cut to relaxation – but alcohol dampens the libido.

There are many myths about a pregnant woman and sex. Some people think having sex will harm the baby. Others wonder if the baby can actually see the penis!

A healthy pregnant woman can have sex throughout the pregnancy.Obstetrician and gynaecologist answers some common questions about sex and the pregnant woman.

Can a woman have sex throughout the whole pregnancy?

Why not? A healthy woman with a healthy pregnancy can have sex through the whole pregnancy.

The joke about the pregnant woman carrying twins and when she has sex, one child says to the other, ‘Shhh! Daddy’s coming!’

But the truth is the baby can’t see. They’re so well cushioned. They’re in an amniotic bag. They’re floating. So, they can’t see and they can’t feel anything.

They might be aware that mummy’s happy and if mummy’s happy then baby is happy.

Are there any situations where it is unsafe for her to have sex?

She should not have sex under certain conditions. If she has a history of repeated miscarriages, particularly so in the first trimester, then she’s advised to refrain from it. If she thinks her partner or husband has some underlying sexually-transmitted disease (STD) then she should not have sex with him. Or, if she herself has some STDs or if she is bleeding because of a miscarriage or a low-lying placenta, then she should not have sex. Or if she has a history of premature labour, premature contractions, then she is also advised not to have sex.

If she has weakness of the cervix, she is also advised against having sex because then it could start contractions.

How will she know if she has any of these conditions?

Her obstetrician will have her medical history on record, unless it is something she’s not told the doctor. In which case, if she doesn’t tell, the doctor will not know.

The doctor can pick up whether she has a low-lying placenta or having a miscarriage now.

Are there certain sex positions she should not attempt?

As she grows there are some sex positions she shouldn’t be in because of her anatomy. He can’t get on top of her if she’s too big!

Then you have to be more creative – doing the back way or sideways. They have to be creative. Maybe getting a copy of the Kamasutra might help.

The woman will know if she’s too big and she’s not comfortable in certain positions.

Does a woman’s sexual desire change during pregnancy?

Her desire for sex might not be the same because she gets so tired and towards the end the couple might be too preoccupied with thinking when is the baby coming and all that excitement, and they might not enjoy sex.

For women and men, sex is different. For men, they see and they want to have sex. But for women it’s more personal.  For women the greatest sex organ is the one between the ears, not between the legs.

This is where the emotions and general wellbeing all have an effect on her desire and her willingness to participate in sex. At that stage also, understanding the awkwardness of her condition, she will appreciate more caressing and hugging and kissing than trying to penetrate her, if the position is not appropriate.

As no two women are the same, similarly their sex drives during pregnancy are also not the same. Some women just breeze through pregnancy, like nothing happened. Others will be vomiting and dragging themselves around because it’s so nauseating and surely sex will be the last thing on their minds.

Likewise if she has got problems during the pregnancy, if she’s bleeding then there will be no sex desire. The general wellbeing of the mother and the baby does influence her sex drive.

But if she’s is generally a healthy woman, she can have sex throughout the pregnancy, again depending on how she feels and her mood.

During early pregnancy, her breasts will be tender and that’s when it’s ‘See, no touch’. But in late pregnancy (30 weeks and above), I do advice the mothers and husbands that if they want the baby to come out, then go home and have sex. Because in the man’s seminal fluid there is prostaglandins which has an effect on the neck of the womb and ripening it.

When can the mother resume sexual relations after having her baby?

It depends on where she is and her cultural and religious beliefs and her upbringing. The uterus would have gone back to normal size by about six weeks.

If you want to resume sexual relations, then technically when she’s not bleeding anymore. That’s usually after six weeks for a natural delivery; for a caesarean, about six weeks to two months.

Last words of advice for couples on having sex during pregnancy?

First of all, you have to understand the pregnancy changes that the wife is going through so as not to feel that you’re now taking second place in the family perspective. A lot of it is about talking it out and communicating about how best you can support each other rather than thinking she doesn’t care about you anymore.

The most important thing for the woman is that you know your body better than anybody else and if there’s the slightest thing that’s telling you that something’s not quite right then you need to seek a medical opinion from your doctor.

Sex myths busted

There are as many sex myths and facts as there are couples.

One may have heard someone say ‘oh they broke up as their sex life was poor’, or someone else’s package size is smaller so their married life didn’t succeed.

Whether we appreciate them or not, we still like to know about sex myths and facts and if they are true or false. Here are some facts which we sometimes like to ignore.

1. You can’t get pregnant during your period – False!

There’s a chance that you can get pregnant during a period, particularly towards the end of your menstrual cycle. Unprotected sex also increases the risk infection by sexually transmitted infections (STIs).

2. You can’t get pregnant during unprotected sex if the man pulls out before he ejaculates – False!

Even if your partner doesn’t ejaculate, sperm can still be present. It only takes one sperm to get you pregnant, and the fluid can also contain sexually transmitted infections.

Some men aren’t aware that they are ejaculating until it’s too late, and it’s easy to get carried away in the heat of the moment.

3. You can’t get pregnant while having sex standing up, or in the shower – False!

If you have unprotected sex you can get pregnant, no matter how or where you do it.

4. You can’t get pregnant while on the pill – False!

The chances of getting pregnant while taking the contraceptive pill are virtually nil, provided you are following the instructions correctly and consistently.

But if you miss pills, are on antibiotics, or have sickness and diarrhoea, you need to use condoms for the next seven days.

5. It’s safe to have sex as soon as you’re on the pill – False!

Different types of contraceptive pills take different times to kick in. This can range from 0-14 days.

Always follow the instructions prescribed with your type of pill, and use an additional form of contraception such as condoms during the time it takes for your choice of pill become effective.

6. Peeing after sex washes out sperm and prevents pregnancy – False!

For a start, urine exits the bladder through the urethra, which lies above of the vaginal opening. Which means any sperm in the vagina won’t even get wet when you pee.

7. Men want sex more than women do – False !

Women want sex too – but they are guided by other emotions as well. For instance, house work, kids and holding onto a job are good enough reasons to go off sex completely.

So women are exhausted. Plus, hormones make them feel like having a lot of sex during certain times of the month, rather than all of the time.

And, because they tend to attach more emotions to sex than men do, they aren’t going to beg their partners for action if they’ve been giving them attitude.

8. Happy couples have good sex most of the time – False!

Show me a couple that’s having out-of-control, raging sex every night after years of sharing the same bed, and I’ll show you a pig that can fly.

Life and all its pressures get in the way for all of us. Does it mean your friend is lying if she claims to have fabulous sex after five years of marriage and two kids?

Maybe. Or maybe she thinks you have a great sex life and doesn’t want to admit she doesn’t. Or maybe her definition of great sex is different than yours. Or maybe she really does have terrific sex… once a month. It’s all subjective.

9. Men are more promiscuous than women – True !

The real truth is, this one is probably true, but by much less than you think. When polled about their sex lives, men overestimate while women underestimate, due to societal pressures. It’s also totally dependent on how attractive the people in question are.

An attractive, sexually liberated woman is likely to have had more partners than a not-so-fab-looking guy around the same age, for instance. It’s called opportunity.

10. Women don’t like porn or dirty sex – False!

Women love porn. It gives them new ideas and tricks to try out to make their partners happy. Plus, a lot of them are exchanged on emails or discussed between giggles next to water coolers in the office.

Anyone who thinks men are the only ones mentally undressing that sexy passenger on the metro is deluded.

11. Men always want sex – False!

You need to give more credit to your partner than that. But if he is below 18 and has landed his first girlfriend, then perhaps it is true.

However, as men get older responsibilities, daily pressures, work, bills etc. come in the way and he cannot think of sex all the time. But one look, and he is ready to jump into bed – that’s also true!