Tag Archive: sex

Sexual Calories Counter

A full-time national serviceman had sex six times with a secondary school student, 14, in his Bedok flat and in a tent in a park last year.

The offences were discovered when she underwent an abortion in her fifth month of pregnancy in March this year.

Shanurfahmi Shariman, 22, was jailed two years yesterday for underage sex.

District Judge Low Wee Ping said that the married Shanurfahmi, who already has a daughter born out of wedlock, should have known better and the law had to be more severe in this case.

He had pleaded guilty last month.

At the hearing yesterday, the court heard that probation was not recommended because Shanurfahmi was fully aware of the consequences of his actions and had taken advantage of a young naive teenager. — The Straits Times/Asia News Network

Baby thrown out from 3rd.Floor

Tuesday September 18, 2012

Baby was alive when thrown

Whisked away: The woman covering her face as she’s led from the Petaling Jaya magistrate’s court.

PETALING JAYA: The newborn baby girl was still alive when she was flung out from one of the upper floors of the Desa Mentari flats on Malaysia Day.

Petaling Jaya OCPD Asst Comm Arjunaidi Mohamed said post-mortem results revealed that the baby died of severe head injuries. “A 20-year-old woman has been remanded for seven days to facilitate investigations,” he said, adding that police had classified the case as murder under Section 302 of the Penal Code.

“Initial investigations reveal that the woman is not married and gave birth on her own while alone at home on Sunday,” he said, adding that she was involved in a relationship.

A resident of the flats, S. Chandran, 37, who came out to inspect the baby girl’s remains, said her umbilical cord was still intact and there was blood on the body.

“When I took a closer look, she looked like a cute girl,” he said, adding that the side of the baby’s head was crushed from the fall.

Chandran, who has been living there since 2003, said a mentally-disabled boy had also fallen to his death at the same flats several years ago.

Based on witness accounts, police searched several floors of the flats and arrested the 20-year-old woman on the third floor.

It is learnt that the woman’s family told the police they were unaware that she was pregnant.

  • Luminita Perijoc, 30, had already forced cabbie at knifepoint to have intercourse and perform oral sex
  • But she flew into a rage when he refused to satisfy her again
  • Police say her behaviour may have been down to medication she was taking
A Romanian taxi driver claims a sex-crazed Angelina Jolie lookalike passenger stabbed him after he refused to satisfy her for a third time.

Femme fatale: Angelina Jolie lookalike Luminita Perijoc, allegedly stabbed a taxi driver after he refused to have sex with her for a third time

Nicolae Stan told police stunning Luminita Perijoc, 30, had already forced him at knifepoint to have intercourse and perform oral sex.

He claims Perijoc had asked him to help her with his bags but once inside her apartment she demanded sex.

When he refused she allegedly pulled out a knife and forced him to undress.

Police investigating his claims say the Perijoc’s behaviour may have been down to the fact she was on medication at the time.

Mr Stan said that his life has been made a misery by pals ribbing him about the fact that he had turned down the beautiful double of the Hollywood star.

He said: ‘It is terrible. I am now a local celebrity, every one is talking about me.

‘They don’t understand why I refused her, but they do not know what it is like to have a mad woman yelling at you at knife point.

‘They look at her, then look at me an laugh. But I think anyone would find it impossible to perform with a knife at their throat even if they were with Miss Romania.’

‘She asked me to help with her bag but when we were upstairs she got me in to her kitchen and told me she had to have sex with me,’ claimed the married dad-of-three.

‘I think she wasn’t used to anyone saying no because she flew into a rage when I declined. She took out a knife and forced me to undress and have sex with her.

‘But she wasn’t satisfied and wanted sex again.

Perijoc, 30, forced cabbie Nicolae Stan at knifepoint to have intercourse and perform oral sex on her but flew into a rage when he refused to satisfy her again, police were told

Mr Stan said his life has been made a misery by pals ribbing him about the fact that he turned down the beautiful double of the Hollywood star. Pictured: How the incident was reported on a Romanian website

‘When I refused she attacked me with a knife, and forced me to have oral sex with her but she still stabbed me,’ he added.

Friends told local media that Perijoc is a huge fan of actress Jolie and models herself on the Tomb Raider star.

The original: Perijoc is a huge fan of Angelina

Mr Stan says he only escaped when he managed to barricade himself into a bedroom and dial 999 on his mobile phone.

Police say he was taken to hospital with more than half a dozen stab wounds.

‘We are interviewing both parties to discover what could have happened,’ said a police spokesman.

Source: http://www.dailymail.co.uk

Hari ini nikah esok bersalin

Tidak sampai 24 jam selepas diijab kabul dan bergelar isteri, seorang wanita yang sarat mengandung melahirkan bayi perempuan, awal pagi semalam.

Ibu muda berusia 21 tahun itu melahirkan anak di Hospital Melaka (HM) kira-kira jam 6 pagi selepas dimasukkan ke wad enam jam sebelum itu kerana mengadu sakit perut.

Wanita itu bernikah dengan pasangannya berusia 28 tahun dan turut mengadakan majlis perkahwinan mereka di rumah keluarganya di sini walaupun mengetahui dirinya hanya menunggu masa untuk melahirkan anak.

Difahamkan, majlis perkahwinan pasangan itu meriah seperti pasangan pengantin baru lain dengan kedua-dua mempelai bersanding dan diarak dengan kompang.

Bagaimanapun, kelahiran anak tidak sah taraf pasangan itu dibongkar Bahagian Penguatkuasaan Jabatan Agama Islam Melaka (Jaim) sebaik menerima aduan mengenainya.

Berikutan itu, sepasukan anggota penguat kuasa Jaim diketuai Ketua Pegawai Penguat Kuasa Agamanya, Rahimin Bani pergi ke HM untuk mengambil keterangan pasangan terbabit.

Rahimin berkata, siasatan mendapati wanita terbabit baru melangsungkan perkahwinan walaupun mengetahui sudah sarat mengandung.

Katanya, ketika disoal, suami wanita terbabit turut berada bersama-samanya.

“Wanita berkenaan faham apabila diberitahu dia melakukan kesalahan melahirkan anak luar nikah dan pasangannya mengakui bersubahat melakukan persetubuhan haram,” katanya.

Beliau berkata, pasangan itu mengakui terlanjur selepas pertama kali berkenalan pada April lalu dan hasil hubungan haram beberapa kali itu menyebabkan wanita berkenaan hamil.

“Kehamilan wanita terbabit diketahui keluarganya dan pasangan itu dinikahkan semalam (kelmarin),” katanya.

Beliau berkata, pasangan terbabit diberi notis saman hadir untuk disoal siasat dalam tempoh terdekat.

Menurutnya, wanita berkenaan akan didakwa mengikut Seksyen 54 Enakmen Kesalahan Syariah Negeri Melaka 1991 kerana hamil luar nikah.

“Manakala, lelaki terbabit akan didakwa mengikut Seksyen 55 enakmen sama kerana bersubahat melakukan persetubuhan haram.

“Sabit kesalahan bagi kedua-dua pertuduhan itu boleh didenda RM3,000 atau penjara 24 bulan atau kedua-duanya sekali,” katanya.

Apa yang berlaku ini bukanlah kes terpencil tetapi memang sudah biasa berlaku kepada masyarakat Malaysia sekarang ini dimana bukan sahaja muslim tetapi non-muslim pun turut mengamalkan budaya sama seperti ini. Walaubagaimanapun budaya ini adalah lebih baik berbanding sekiranya lelaki yang bersubahat melakukan persetubuhan haram dan menyebabkan pasangannya mengandung dan melahirkan anak luar nikah tidak mahu bertanggungjawab.

Oleh kerana mereka sudah terlanjur dengan persetubuhan haram sebelum kahwin,maka ada baiknya mereka mengakui dan bertanggungjawab keatas  apa yang mereka telah buat.Pasal DOSA, biarlah mereka yang tanggung sendiri atau biarlah mereka yang jawab kepadaNYA nanti.

Sebenarnya perbuatan mereka ini merugikan mereka sendiri.Bayangkan mereka baru saja mengadakan hubungan seks 3-4 kali (belum kahwin) dan secara sembunyi-sembunyi tetapi sudah dapat anak?. Cuba mereka kahwin duluan baru buat hubungan seks…berapa kalikah agaknya mereka dapat menikmati keindahan dan kesedapan seks sebelum dapat anak.Bukankah 2-3 kali mereka buat seks seharipun orang lain tak peduli kerana itu adalah hak mereka sebagai suami-isteri yang sah? Kalau dah 9 bulan bersama..agaknya berapa kali mereka boleh buat hubungan seks? Kan sendiri rugi!! Jadi fikir2kanlah mana satu yang terbaik samada seks dulu baru kahwin atau kahwin dulu baru seks yang menguntungkan? Tetapi memanglah…ramai orang kata,mengadakan hubungan seks haram adalah lebih nikmat berbanding dengan seks yang sah.

Jadi fikir2kanlah mana satu yang anda suka atau yang mana lebih baik dan semoga pilihan anda tepat dan bertanggungjawab.

The former Erotic Review magazine editor answers your sex questions…

QUESTION: I’ve never seen the problem with having sex on a first date. Surely in these post-feminist days women can follow their own honest desires. But my best friend says that’s why I can’t make a relationship last. Do you think there’s any real benefit in playing by ‘the rules’ and holding off?

ROWAN SAYS: Let’s get one thing straight here: of course I don’t think the fact someone has had sex on a first date axiomatically means they are a romantic disaster zone.

When lust is too easily sated, there's a greater chance it won't metamorphose into love, says Rowan Irresistible? When lust is too easily sated, there’s a greater chance it won’t metamorphose into love, says Rowan

We are not living in the 19th century and the feminist movement and improved contraception has won Western women welcome sexual latitude.

But it doesn’t matter what I think – you’re not trying to date me or, come to that, Germaine Greer. What we’re trying to do here is penetrate the psyche of your average male of the species.

And, at the risk of sounding like some kind of rabid evolutionary psychologist, I believe most men are hardwired for the chase.

Nice through it is to come across a stationary gazelle who obligingly offers herself up to the hunter, men tend to be more thrilled by the exertion of bringing down a fleet-footed prey.

When lust is too easily sated, it seems to me there’s a greater chance it won’t make the complex metamorphosis into love. Talk to any psychologist and they will tell you that desire is often triggered and inflamed by subtle forms of frustration.

It’s true of life generally that people tend to place a higher value on what they find rare or hard to obtain. Women are hardly immune from this tendency. How many times have I heard female friends voicing suspicions about men who proclaim love too readily?

The only difference between the sexes resides in the territory men and women find most suspicious if yielded too easily: men believe they have to hone all their charm and skill to persuade a woman to sleep with them, women think they have to deploy every weapon in their armoury to persuade a man to love them.

Of course, there are no fixed ‘rules’ when it comes to sex or love, whatever millionaire American relationship gurus might tell you. I know people who had sex on their first date and ended up blissfully spliced, just as I know men who made declarations of love at first sight and found their passion reciprocated.

You don’t want to become so robotic in your response to a man’s advances that you crush any form of spontaneity in a relationship.

So perhaps the questions you should be asking yourself here concern your own emotions. Do you feel miffed when a man doesn’t contact you after you’ve had sex on a first date? Do you mind if you sense you’re just another notch on his bedpost? Do you worry that your sexual intimacy far outstrips your emotional intimacy?

Do you think you might ratchet up greater erotic tension with a new romantic interest if you hold back from making love for a while?

If the answer to all these questions is ‘yes’, then wouldn’t it make sense to refrain from leaping into bed with new suitors until you feel more certain your affections are returned? Perhaps it’s just a coincidence, but among my friends, the longest-lived relationships have been the ones where the women held off having sex for a while.

When I worked in an office full of young women, I couldn’t help but notice that sex on a first date generally resulted from a skin full of alcohol, and was the root cause of sobbing in the loos about: ‘Why hasn’t he called me?’

There’s a good reason that so many people fall deeply in love with work colleagues. (Yes, I met my husband in an office.) In a professional situation, you have a good chance of getting to know one another, of learning whether you can rely upon the beloved, of developing shared jokes and intimacies.

By the time you go to bed with one another, the sexual tension is sky-high, plus you have the reassurance of knowing this is no fly-by-night interest.

So my advice to you is why not have a go at a little light courtship before moving a relationship on to a sexual footing. What have you got to lose?

It’s safe to say any man who ditches you because you won’t have sex on a first date has zero interest in your personality or talents.

And who wants to be with a creep like that?

Sex on the brain

Sex. You can’t get away from it. If we’re not doing it, we’re thinking about it. But how do you feel about sex, and are you doing it for the right reasons?

Whether you’re single, seeing someone casually, or in a long-term relationship, it’s likely that sex will come into the equation at some point. But are we really as obsessed with sex as we’re led to believe? BareAll06, an online poll supported by the Department of Health, revealed that seven out of 10 (69%) 16 to 24 year-olds said they waited until they were 16 or over before having sex. Almost a quarter (23%) first had sex at 16, but nearly half (46%) waited until they were older.

“Sex is like oxygen. It’s just a problem if you aren’t getting any,” says Marcus, 21 years-old. Well that may be true for one of our users, but is it really a bad thing if you aren’t getting laid?

Gagging for it

Are you someone who thinks about sex all the time? Perhaps you’re addicted to porn? Or maybe it’s subliminal sexual messages that make you go weak at the knees, like the sight of someone showing off their midriff or the smell of a fragrance. You want to talk about sex all the time and when you’re not talking about it, you fill the conversation with sexual innuendoes.

You may be continuously thinking about when you’re going to get your leg over, or have regular flashbacks from your last sexual encounter. Two weeks without having sex is a long time in your eyes. If you’re in a relationship and you aren’t getting it every time you see your other half, then you worry there’s a problem. If you live with your partner and you aren’t getting it at least three times a week, you fear the honeymoon period is over and that things aren’t as good as they were before.

The right balance

Now we’re not saying that all of those elements are negative – you can drool over as many people as you like and think about sex all the time, if that’s what gets you through the day. And there’s nothing wrong with looking at naughty magazines or films, or having great shag flashbacks. It’s when you become a bit too obsessed and find it taking over your life that there may be a problem.

The great thing about sex is that it really is quality and not quantity that you should be looking for. What’s the point of shagging your other half every time you see them and having marathon-long sessions, only to be completely knackered the next day? Not to mention the sex injuries you may sustain if you end up throwing each other around as if you’re starring in a porn movie. And if you’re partial to a one-night stand, do you really feel good when you go from one person to the next?

Then there’s the useful, yet sometimes complicated, fuck buddy. You may be getting your fill of regular sex, but is your casual arrangement holding you back from embarking on a new relationship? As well as all these highs and lows, you may also be putting yourself at risk of getting a sexually transmitted infection, so however frisky you’re feeling, make sure you protect yourself.

Sexual confidence

Perhaps you’re perfectly happy without sex in your life. You may have already lost your virginity and are waiting for the right person to come along, or you simply haven’t had the urge to lose it in the first place. You wear clothes that are sexy, not necessarily to turn other people on, but to feel sexy on the inside. You don’t let anyone have their wicked way with you, perhaps because you’re scared of getting hurt, or because you believe your body is a temple. It may also be a religious belief that makes you abstain from sex.

Sex is something you think about regularly, and you want to be good at it, but it’s not the be all and end all. For you sex is more about building a trusting and loving relationship than about getting down and dirty. “I feel at my most natural and beautiful when I’m having sex,” says Stephanie, 19 years-old. “I love that when I’m having sex, it completely takes over my brain. I can let go and enjoy it, and all that matters for a while is you and your partner, nothing else, which I think is pretty great.”

Addicted to sex

If you’re thinking about sex all the time, and you’re doing it just to get an instant lift, it may be worth asking yourself if you feel fulfilled in other areas of your life. Sex addiction can be just as serious as any other type of addiction. During sex our bodies release chemicals that make us feel good, but the downside if you’re doing it randomly or just to get a high, is that your body can get used to having sex to achieve this euphoria. This can leave you with feelings of shame, regret and anxiety, especially if you end up having sex just to get the high. If you think you’ve got a problem, you may want to talk to a sex therapist at the British Association of Sexual and Relationship Therapists.

Having sex can make us feel loved, important and powerful, but for Lucy, 19, abstaining from sex can also have the same effect. “Going out, dressing up and feeling that people are attracted to me, but not going all the way or giving them what they want, often makes me feel far more in control, attractive, confident and independent.”

Sex-with-a-new-partnerYou’ve met the person of your dreams and everything’s going great. Now all you want is some fireworks between the sheets.

You’ve been out on a few dates, you’ve really clicked – maybe you’re even starting to fall in love. And tonight’s probably ‘the night’ as they’re staying over. You want everything to be perfect and you want to make the right impression. Aaaargghhh! Stress!!

Chill out

Calm down now. Performance anxiety isn’t pretty, and it takes all the fun out of sex. In fact, too much anxiety might end up meaning there’s no performance at all, if you get the drift.

Take it easy, and lower your expectations. First-time sex with a new partner is more about exploring each other’s bodies and getting to know them better, rather than putting on a show and trying too hard to impress.

Take your time

What worked brilliantly with a previous sexual partner may not work now, but that’s no reflection on your prowess as a lover. Different people respond to different things, and finding out what can be half of the fun. Nerves can get in the way too, and sometimes it takes a while before someone can get naked and relax. If either of you are feeling too stressed, just take the pressure off; you don’t need to have sex there and then. Wait until you’re both sure that you’re ready.

If you’ve decided to go back to yours, and sex is on the cards, then a little preparation goes a long way. Make them feel special and comfortable. Tidy up a bit, have something good in the fridge for breakfast, and stock up on their favourite drink. Oh, and make sure you’ve got enough condoms, because running down to the late night garage with a hard-on or a hitched-up skirt is not a good look, and it kind of breaks up the mood.

If you’re going back to their place, be a good guest. Don’t make an automatic assumption that they want to have sex with you, and take your own condoms as well, just in case. You’ll get extra points for turning up on time, looking and smelling good. Let them know you’re having a good time and like their company.

Have a laugh

It’s only perfect in the movies. Nobody’s psychic. You have to tell one another what you like and want, and if you’re not enjoying something then don’t be scared to ask for something different instead. If you are pulling out all of the stops to please your new partner, make sure they make an effort to do something pleasurable for you too – there should be some give and take.

Keep a sense of humour at all times, and if you fall out of bed or get cramp in your toes then laugh it off instead of getting embarrassed or worried. Even if you cringe at the time, it could be something you both look back on later with a warm fuzzy glow. “Remember the time when we. . .?”

Sex,Lies and Videoclips

In this age of sex,lies and videoclips,nothing really comes as suprise anymore.But Jennifer,who appears to be just like any others 21 years old college student,says the kind of home videos some of her peer are making now would raise more than just a few eyebrows.

It seems almost every college student now knows of  someone who has filmed themselves having sex,or has seen those clips online.According to DSP Mahfuz Abd.Majid form Royal Malaysia Police’s Cyber and Multimedia Crime Investigation Division (CMCID), most of the reports they’ve received or leaked sex videos feature young people aged between 16 to 28.

If you checked the Internet, you will find more than just leaked videos. As many a new media proponent would argue, technology has changed mass media so much. For some, it’s no longer enough to just consume media content, you have to be an interactive producer of content as well; and it’s the same with pornography.

Home made porn videos, featuring youths joking around in local slang with their faces in full view, are made explicitly for all to see on the Internet; that is the erotic lure of new age porn.

After all, teenagers these days are comfortable being in front of the camera. They pose provocatively when they’re taking pictures (or more commonly known as cam-whoring these days), and explore risque topics over webcams.

It is an exhibitionist mindset, that seems to have emerged from the same self-indulgent, self-publishing, “attention-whoring” culture, with which many young people Facebook, Twitter and blog. For some, filming their sex acts is but an extension of this exhibitionist streak.

Possession and distribution of pornographic content, even if it is self-produced, is illegal.

Just for thrills
Farah, 19, is in a stable relationship, and she and her boyfriend film themselves having sex despite knowing the risks involved for the added thrill.

“There’s excitement when we are filming ourselves having sex. It enhances the experience. But a lot of it is for my boyfriend. He lives far away, so I let him have some videos of me on his cellphone to keep him hooked while I’m not around.

“It’s also for evaluation. I want to see how I look, so I can improve on my performance. I don’t sleep around, so I had to learn (about sex) from watching porn. I have a whole stack of DVDs of porn I downloaded from the Internet, and I have a membership with a sex chat service,” said Farah matter-of-factly.

The college student believes she isn’t doing anything wrong, although she sometimes feels guilty because of her religion. She thinks their sex clips are private, and her biggest worry is that her parents might discover them one day.

Jennifer is a lot more liberal in her sexual outlook; she admits to sleeping around and watching a lot of porn but draws the line at recording her sex acts.

She and her friends have “porn parties” where they watch their latest porno downloads, but she always has her guard up.

“I never do webcams. I never put my pictures or videos on my blog, even though some sex blogs are doing that now. That’s because these days, there’s no such thing as ‘I love you forever’. This guy I dated for two years suggested we film ourselves once.

“But for me, even if we’re married there’s no guarantee it won’t come back to haunt me. Who knows? I might marry a Datuk next time, or become someone famous. The most I’ve done is tape some stuff just for fun, which I deleted immediately after watching it once,” said Jennifer during an interview at a cafe in Kuala Lumpur, where she talked openly about her sex life within earshot of several patrons.

She, however, could not resist sharing her sexual experiences on a blog.

“My blog is completely anonymous, because I don’t want my family to know,” says Jennifer who couldn’t be persuaded to reveal her blog address.

Early exposures

Psychologist Associate Professor Dr Khaidzir Ismail from Universiti Kebangsaan Malaysia believes one of the main reasons why young girls seem more sexually daring to try things like videotaping, cyber sex and sex blogging, is increasingly early exposure to sex.

“Women naturally enjoy sex, they enjoy the intimacy. But when they’re sexually active from an early age, our research shows that they become habitual. They want more, and they explore more, branching into things like videotaping,” he said.

Twenty-year-old communications student Melissa is one of those “early adopters”, having watched porn as a secondary school student with classmates on her cellphone at the back of the classroom, and even along her college corridors “in broad daylight” using the campus’ free wireless broadband.

More and more youths are filming themselves having sex these days.

Melissa is used to filming her sexual encounters. She thinks taping sex has become so common some girls might feel pressured into doing it. She commented: “It’s so acceptable these days. If a guy takes out his cellphone halfway through sex, it’s hard to say no sometimes.”

Even though she knows several friends who’ve had their videos leaked, she remains unperturbed.

“My boyfriend has sex videos of me on his cellphone right now, and I have ex-boyfriends who still have videos of us having sex. But I’m more careful now after my friend’s video got leaked. If I’m breaking-up with anyone, I’ll make sure I delete my videos first,” said Melissa.

Not safe for life

AN indication of how prevalent filming sex has become is the increase in police reports and media coverage of leaked sex tapes and pictures in the last two to three years.

DSP Mahfuz said sometimes, leaked footage aren’t even the result of malice, but sheer carelessness.

“Sometimes the people who have the videos aren’t even thinking about publishing or distributing them. Maybe they sent their laptops for repair, lent someone their thumbdrive, or had their computers accessed over a network by someone else.

“We had a case involving a college student living with four other people. They accessed the Internet using the same hub, and one of her housemates used this to retrieve nude photos of her and used them against her,” he said.

Melissa knows all too well how such things never just stay hidden on the Internet, or in a spurned lover’s cellphone memory card, and how unpleasent the consequences are.

“My friend broke up with her boyfriend, so he sent naked pictures of her to all their friends in college using bluetooth. At first, I didn’t want to see them, but naturally everyone gets curious.

“At first she was like, ‘whatever’, but then people started to talk about it, and finally she just broke down. She stayed at home for about three months, not hanging out, not partying, nothing,” revealed Melissa.

Although Mahfuz says possessing and distributing any form of pornography, whether it’s self-produced or downloaded, is illegal, he reveals that the police “don’t go hunting for it (personal sex videos)”, and they usually investigate a case only when there’s a complaint.

Almost all the complainants of leaked pornographic materials have been girls. Although the guys are usually the ones who initiate the sex recordings, it is usually the girls who bear the worst of the social stigma and shame when these clips become public.

Incriminating pictures or videoclips will eventually find its way on the Internet even when you think they have been deleted.

But in terms of people who’ve had their sex tapes leaked without their permission, Mahfuz says the law is on their side.

“Usually if the victim can help narrow down the possible suspects who would leak their videos, we have more than a 50% chance of finding the person responsible. The victims can also get a court injunction prohibiting the videos from being published if they know someone already has them,” he said.

Jennifer offered some rather different words of consolation to those who’ve had their tapes leaked.

She said: “It’s not like it’ll be national news. There are so many sex tapes out there, you won’t even be able to find what you’re looking for.”

Then again, remember what happened to Hong Kong actor Edison Chen.

(All names have been changed.)

Source: rage.com.my

Sex and Menopause

As a woman ages, her sexual desires change and her interest in being sexually active may decrease or increase. Changes may be prompted by her past sexual experiences or by the availability of a sexual partner.

Menopause occurs when a woman’s body stops releasing eggs and her menstrual cycles cease. The hormonal changes associated with menopause may affect a woman’s physical responses and interest in sex (libido.) Hormonal fluctuations in the time before menopause (called peri-menopause) may also affect a woman’s libido and sexual experience.

Sexual Changes Associated with Menopause

Some of the sexual changes commonly associated with menopause are:

  • slower sexual arousal
  • less lubrication produced during sex
  • the vaginal wall gets thinner and intercourse may be uncomfortable
  • intensity of orgasm may be reduced
  • skin sensitivity is often increased

Although many women have a reduced interest in sex, others have an increase in sexual desire.

What needs to be done about these changes depends on how you feel about them and how readily you can incorporate them into your current sexual life. Even women who find that their sexual interest is greatly reduced may accept these changes, particularly if they have lost their sexual partner to illness or death. If the changes are less dramatic, a woman may welcome a slower, more sensual, sexual experience that emphasizes non-sexual touching and allows more time for lubrication. Since men also become aroused more slowly as they age, heterosexual couples may adapt their sexual lives in a way that ‘works’ for both partners. If both lesbian partners are experiencing menopause, the changes in their desires may also fit well together.

For some women and their partners, these changes are a problem. Women may be frustrated that their orgasms don’t feel right. Partners may conclude that a woman is less interested, because she lubricates less. It is important to talk to your partner(s) about the changes that are happening to your body and what both of you are feeling about these changes.