LIFE MADE SIMPLE

Sesungguhnya kita patut BERSYUKUR…

1. utk suami/isteri yg tidur berdengkur di waktu malam, kerana beliau tidur di sisi kita bukan dengan orang lain.

2. utk anak/adik perempuan kita yg mengomel apabila mencuci pinggan, kerana itu bermakna dia berada di rumah, bukan di jalanan berpeleseran.

3. utk cukai pendapatan yg kita kena bayar, kerana itu bermakna kita masih mempunyai pekerjaan.

4. utk pakaian kita yang dah tak muat, kerana itu bermakna kita cukup makan.

5. utk lantai yg perlu dimop, tingkap yg perlu dilap dan rumah yg perlu dikemas , kerana itu bermakna kita mempunyai tempat tinggal.

6. utk bunyi bising jiran², kerana itu bermakna kita masih lagi boleh mendengar.

7. utk timbunan pakaian yg perlu dicuci/digosok kerana itu bermakna kita ada pakaian untuk dipakai.

8. utk keletihan/kesakitan otot selepas seharian bekerja, kerana itu bermakna kita masih berupaya utk kerja kuat.

9. utk tempat letak kereta yg jauh drpd lif, kerana itu bermakna kita masih berupaya utk berjalan.

10.utk jam loceng yg berdering pd waktu pagi, kerana itu bermakna kita masih hidup untuk meneruskan hari tersebut…


“Jika tak dapat apa yang kita suka, belajarlah menyukai apa yang kita dapat…dan bersyukurlah dengan apa yang kita ada”

Syarat baru bersara pilihan

JPA perketat permohonan berikutan kedudukan kewangan semasa, elak kekurangan pegawai terlatih

PUTRAJAYA: Jabatan Perkhidmatan Awam (JPA) mengetatkan permohonan bersara pilihan kakitangan awam Persekutuan, negeri dan badan berkanun serta tempatan berikutan kedudukan kewangan semasa negara, selain mengelakkan kekurangan pegawai terlatih bagi mengendalikan inisiatif Program Transformasi Kerajaan (GTP).

Pengarah Bahagian Pasca Perkhidmatan JPA, Datuk Yeow Chin Kiong, berkata antara syarat baru yang diperkenalkan mulai 1 Februari lalu ialah kakitangan perlu bersetuju menerima hanya 20 peratus ganjaran atau RM10,000, mengikut mana yang lebih tinggi ketika bersara pilihan berbanding bayaran, sekali gus seperti sebelum ini. Katanya, baki ganjaran akan dibayar bergantung kepada keputusan kerajaan, tetapi tidak melampaui usia bersara wajib pekerja terbabit.

Namun, Yeow berkata, kelonggaran kakitangan menerima ganjaran penuh ketika bersara pilihan hanya diberikan bagi kes khusus, iaitu membabitkan keperluan rawatan perubatan petugas atau keluarga, perbelanjaan pendidikan sendiri atau keluarga dan kakitangan memerlukan wang untuk mengelakkan daripada tindakan bankrap yang semuanya memerlukan bukti bertulis.

Beliau berkata, kali pertama JPA mengambil langkah sama ialah pada 1998 berkuat kuasa selama 18 bulan.

Yeow berkata, JPA perlu meminimumkan jumlah kakitangan bersara pilihan demi kepentingan jentera pentadbiran berikutan inisiatif GTP yang sedang dilaksanakan, sekali gus mengelakkan jabatan kehilangan tenaga kerja berpengalaman.
“Waktu ini adalah era perkhidmatan awam yang penuh cabaran dan kerajaan sedang melakukan pelbagai penambahbaikan dalam skim perkhidmatan awam untuk menangani keadaan semasa,” katanya kepada Berita Harian.

Beliau berkata, kerajaan membayar RM1.1 bilion setahun ganjaran kepada kakitangan yang bersara pilihan dan pencen wajib, tetapi dijangka meningkat kepada RM1.5 bilion tahun ini apabila kumpulan pertama yang usia bersara wajib dilanjutkan daripada 56 kepada 58 tahun bersara mulai 1 Julai ini.

Yeow juga menjelaskan bersara pilihan adalah keistimewaan yang dipertimbangkan bagi kakitangan sektor awam dengan mengambil kira kepentingan jabatan, perkhidmatan dan keadaan kewangan negara.

Beliau berkata, bagi tempoh antara 1 Februari tahun ini hingga Khamis lalu, JPA menerima 426 permohonan bersara pilihan dan 200 daripadanya diluluskan dengan bayaran ganjaran 20 peratus yang membabitkan penangguhan bayaran sebanyak RM11.5 juta.

Sebanyak 121 permohonan lagi diluluskan dengan pembayaran ganjaran penuh, manakala 105 menarik balik permohonan yang membabitkan penangguhan bayaran ganjaran RM9.3 juta.

Pada masa ini, ada 1,253,026 kakitangan termasuk anggota polis dan tentera dalam perkhidmatan awam. Tahun lalu, 3,553 kakitangan awam bersara pilihan, 2,991 pada 2008, 3,331 pada 2007, 3,306 pada 2006 dan 3,033 pada 2005. Selain itu, kira-kira 15,000 kakitangan awam bersara wajib setiap tahun.

Sementara itu, dalam surat edaran JPA bertarikh 25 Januari lalu, Ketua Pengarah Perkhidmatan Awam, Tan Sri Ismail Adam, berkata baki ganjaran 80 peratus akan dibayar pada tarikh yang akan ditetapkan kerajaan tetapi tidak melampaui umur persaraan wajib kakitangan terbabit.

Bagaimanapun, wang untuk gantian cuti rehat dan pencen bulanan akan dibayar mengikut undang-undang.

Sel tidak terkawal

RAMAI peserta forum, baik wanita mahu pun lelaki, menggelengkan kepala dan mengerutkan dahi apabila ditunjukkan gambar kanser membabitkan bahagian peranakan wanita kerana semuanya tampak mengerikan. Malah, ada ketumbuhan dalam rahim yang saiznya mengalahkan seorang bayi.

Malah risiko bagi sesetengah kanser berganda jika ada ahli keluarga terdekat seperti emak, bapa atau adik-beradik menderita akibat penyakit berbahaya itu.

Di negara kita, kanser wanita didahului dengan kanser payudara (21 peratus), kolon (10 peratus), pangkal rahim (9.8 peratus), perut (7.6 peratus), paru-paru (tujuh peratus), ovari (4.4 peratus) dan rahim (3.8 peratus).

Kanser adalah sel badan yang terhasil terlalu cepat dan tidak terkawal sehingga menyebabkan bonggol sel dipanggil ketumbuhan yang boleh bersifat benigna (tidak merebak) atau malignan (boleh merebak ke bahagian badan yang lain).

Uniknya, sel kanser yang merebak (berpindah ke organ lain melalui aliran darah atau cecair limfa), ia akan singgah dan membiak (membahagi dengan cepat) membentuk koloni baru pada organ tempat persinggahan itu.

Keunikan kedua, koloni kanser ini boleh mencuri nutrien yang dibawa dalam darah dengan membentuk salur darah baru supaya nutrien tadi dapat disalurkan terus ke sel kanser untuk ia tumbuh lebih besar.

Keadaan ini akan menekan tisu dan saraf berhampiran yang menyebabkan rasa sakit. Perkara sama berlaku pada kanser peranakan wanita seperti kanser pangkal rahim, ovari, rahim dan faraj.

Sebagaimana kanser lain, punca sebenar kanser peranakan wanita juga tidak diketahui dengan tepat. Ia boleh disebabkan jangkitan bakteria, virus atau pencemaran (udara atau makanan) namun kebanyakan kes, puncanya tidak diketahui.

Daripada empat jenis kanser peranakan, kanser pangkal rahim menduduki tangga teratas yang menyerang lebih 500,000 pesakit di seluruh dunia diikuti kanser ovari, rahim dan faraj (jarang berlaku).

Daripada 500,000 kes kanser pangkal rahim, 70 peratus berlaku di negara miskin dan 80 peratus dikesan lewat. Ini menyebabkan kebanyakan kes kanser pangkal rahim berakhir dengan kematian.

Justeru, penekanan lebih diberi kepada kanser pangkal rahim, tetapi pada masa sama kanser ovari dan rahim perlu diketahui kerana ia juga boleh membunuh, kata Perunding Ginekologi dan Pakar Kanser Wanita Pusat Perubatan Sunway, Dr G Balasundram.

Meskipun jumlah pesakit kanser ovari jauh lebih rendah berbanding kanser pangkal rahim (satu kes bagi setiap 55 wanita), ia terkenal dengan gelaran pembunuh senyap kerana ia biasanya tidak ditemui hinggalah sel kanser merebak ke lain anggota badan iaitu apabila ia sampai ke peringkat serius.

Di negara maju seperti Amerika Syarikat, dianggarkan hanya 20 peratus kes dikesan sebelum ia merebak.

Setiap wanita mempunyai dua ovari iaitu pada sebelah kanan dan kiri rahim. Saiz ovari sangat kecil iaitu hanya tiga sentimeter atau sebesar badam — berfungsi menghasilkan telur (ovum) dan hormon seks (estrogen dan progesteron).

Sel kanser dari ovari ini boleh merebak terus ke organ bersebelahan atau ke organ yang jauh melalui aliran darah atau salur limfa.

Mengapa kanser ovari sukar dikesan? Ini kerana gejalanya tidak khusus dan menyerupai masalah kesihatan lain, termasuk gangguan pencernaan dan pundi kencing.

Wanita yang menghidap kanser ovari mungkin didiagnos dengan penyakit lain dulu sebelum disahkan menghidap kanser. Antara gejala kanser ovari ialah:

Abdomen (perut) terasa sakit atau sentiasa tidak selesa

Perut kembung seperti ada angin, terasa penuh

Pinggul terasa sakit

Berlaku perubahan jadual ke tandas (termasuk sembelit)

Penurunan berat badan tanpa sebab

Sakit ketika mengadakan hubungan seks

Kerap terasa hendak kencing

Sentiasa lesu

Sakit belakang atau pinggang

Perubahan pada kitaran haid Gejala peringkat akhir:

Perut kembung

Muntah

Sesak nafas

Kehilangan berat badan yang banyakFaktor risiko kanser ovari

Mutasi gen atau perubahan bahan baka (diwarisi). Ia boleh berlaku jika pesakit mempunyai ahli keluarga yang menghidap kanser payudara berulang kali. Bagaimanapun dalam kebanyakan kes, pesakit tidak mempunyai mutasi gen.

Sejarah keluarga — Ada kalanya kanser ovari berlaku pada lebih seorang ahli keluarga wanita tetapi ia bukan disebabkan mutasi gen. Jika anda mempunyai ahli keluarga yang menghidap kanser ovari, risiko anda mendapat penyakit sama ialah antara 10 hingga 15 peratus. Jika anda pernah menghidap kanser payudara, risiko untuk kanser ovari juga meningkat.

Umur — Risiko meningkat dengan peningkatan umur dan kebanyakan kes berlaku pada wanita 60 tahun ke atas atau selepas menopaus. Namun ia juga boleh berlaku pada wanita muda atau sebelum menopaus.

Status kehamilan — Kajian menunjukkan wanita yang pernah hamil walaupun sekali mempunyai risiko lebih rendah untuk diserang kanser ovari. Ini bermakna wanita yang tidak pernah hamil atau ada masalah kesuburan mempunyai risiko lebih tinggi menghidap kanser ini. Malah pengambilan pil perancang keluarga juga didapati mampu memberi perlindungan kepada kanser ovari.

Obesiti — Wanita obes mempunyai risiko lebih tinggi, malah obesiti juga dikaitkan dengan kanser ovari yang lebih agresif; menyebabkan ia mudah merebak, berulang dan peluang sembuh juga lebih rendah.

Terapi penggantian hormon (HRT) — Kajian mendapati wanita menopaus yang mengambil hormon estrogen saja lebih berisiko, terutama jika pengambilan pil hormon ini melebihi lima tahun. Bagaimanapun, ia bukan bermakna HRT tidak bagus, berbincanglah dengan doktor anda mengenai perkara ini kerana HRT ada banyak manfaat lain.

Faktor untuk mengurangkan risiko kanser ovari:

Pengambilan pil perancang. Penggunaan selama dua tahun didapati dapat mengurangkan risiko sebanyak 30 peratus dan 50 peratus jika diambil melebihi lima tahun

Mengandung

Memberi anak susu badan

Pembedahan — Pembedahan pemandulan boleh mengurangkan risiko sebanyak 33 peratus dan 67 peratus di kalangan wanita yang menjalani pembedahan pembuangan rahim

Kawalan pemakanan dan bersenam — Penjagaan makan dan bersenam enam kali seminggu boleh mengurangkan 27 peratus risiko kanser ovari.“Hampir 75 peratus kes pesakit lewat berjumpa doktor iaitu apabila kanser sudah merebak sedangkan peluang untuk sembuh adalah tinggi jika dikesan awal. Biasanya kanser ini berlaku pada wanita tua berumur 60 tahun ke atas.

“Wanita yang mengalami gejala kembung dan perut sentiasa berasa tidak selesa melebihi beberapa minggu disaran berjumpa doktor dan jalani pemeriksaan.

“Ujian imbasan bunyi pada abdomen akan dilakukan untuk mengesan ketumbuhan. Ujian penanda tumor tidak disarankan kerana ia kurang tepat. Ada kala ia menunjukkan penanda tumor yang tinggi, sedangkan pesakit tidak mempunyai kanser atau sebaliknya.

“Namun ia berguna selepas seseorang disahkan menghidap kanser sebagai ukuran aktiviti penyakit, bukan untuk pengesanan,” katanya.

Untuk menyelamatkan pesakit, ovari yang diserang kanser (sama ada satu atau kedua-dua) akan dibuang melalui pembedahan. Kemoterapi hanya berkesan jika sel kanser kecil tetapi tidak memberi banyak manfaat jika kelompok sel kanser itu besar.

Kanser rahim

Ini juga antara kanser yang jarang dilaporkan. Kanser rahim mewakili empat peratus daripada keseluruhan kanser peranakan dan berita baiknya, peluang untuk sembuh sangat tinggi.

Bagaimanapun, berbeza dengan kanser ovari, kanser rahim berlaku pada golongan lebih muda iaitu 50 tahun dan jarang menyerang wanita muda (di bawah 40 tahun).

Insiden kanser ovari dan rahim lebih rendah pada wanita di negara membangun atau miskin kerana mereka kerap mengandung dan melahirkan anak. Antara kumpulan wanita yang berisiko tinggi mendapat kanser rahim ialah:

Gemuk atau obes

Tidak pernah mengandungi

Pernah mengalami sindrom polisistik ovari

Cepat baligh

Lambat menopaus

Menghidap penyakit tekanan darah tinggi dan kencing manis

Menghidap penyakit pundi hempedu

Pengambilan HRT estrogen saja

Mengalami haid yang tidak normal Menurut Dr Balasundram, gejala kanser rahim yang biasa dialami wanita ialah pendarahan selepas menopaus. Bagi wanita belum menopaus, mereka mungkin alami pendarahan yang banyak dan berpanjangan di antara kitaran haid.“Apabila berlaku pendarahan yang tidak normal, segera jalani pemeriksaan seperti imbasan bunyi. Ia petanda penting untuk kanser rahim. Kini pakar perbidanan mempunyai peralatan canggih dan mampu mengesan ketumbuhan pada ovari atau rahim.

“Pengesanan awal membolehkan pesakit diberi rawatan segera dan peluang sembuh jauh lebih tinggi, terutama untuk kanser ovari.

“Rawatan yang ada hanya pembedahan pembuangan rahim dan ovari. Kadangkala ia perlu disusuli radioterapi; tertakluk kepada keadaan setiap pesakit. Kemoterapi hanya akan diberi apabila kanser rahim sudah merebak,” katanya.

Kanser pangkal rahim

Ia kanser kedua paling banyak berlaku pada wanita di negara ini selepas kanser payudara. Ia disebabkan jangkitan virus (virus human papilloma, HPV melalui hubungan seks) dan boleh berlaku pada semua peringkat umur, khususnya wanita yang mempunyai kehidupan seksual yang aktif.

Walaupun kempen kesedaran mengenai kanser ini kerap dijalankan, 70 peratus pesakit hanya berjumpa doktor apabila kanser mereka sampai ke peringkat ketiga atau keempat (serius).

“Semua kanser boleh dirawat walaupun bukan semua kanser boleh disembuhkan. Yang penting ialah anda perlu jalani pemeriksaan supaya kanser boleh dikesan pada peringkat awal dan untuk kanser pangkal rahim, ujian paling mudah ialah lumuran pap.

“Ramai wanita bertanya, bila perlu mula jalani ujian ini? Ia perlu dilakukan apabila wanita itu aktif seks dan jika dia mula mengadakan hubungan seks, jalanilah ujian lumuran pap pada usia 21 tahun kerana sel mengambil masa dua hingga tiga tahun untuk berubah (kepada sel kanser).

Walaupun kebanyakan doktor menyarankan ujian lumuran pap dijalankan setiap tahun, tetapi jika anda dapat lakukan dua atau tiga tahun sekali secara tetap sudah cukup baik,” katanya.

Bila masa sesuai? Bila-bila masa kecuali ketika haid kerana doktor perlu mengambil sampel tisu pada pangkal rahim. Bila pula boleh berhenti jalani ujian lumuran pap? Jika semua ujian lumuran pap terdahulu menunjukkan keputusan normal, wanita boleh menghentikan ujian ini selepas berumur 65 tahun.

Bagi wanita yang tidak pernah mengadakan hubungan seks, ujian ini tidak diperlukan kerana mereka tidak terdedah kepada virus HPV.

Namun ada juga kes di mana wanita disahkan menghidap kanser pangkal rahim walaupun ujian lumuran pap menunjukkan keputusan normal.

Dr Balasundram berkata, ia disebabkan kesilapan doktor yang mengambil sampel faraj dan bukan tisu pangkal rahim.

Ia adalah kesilapan manusia, bukan kegagalan ujian kerana sehingga kini ujian lumuran pap terbukti berkesan mampu mengesan perubahan pada sel pangkal rahim.

Kaedah lain untuk mencegah kanser pangkal rahim ialah dengan mendapatkan suntikan vaksin iaitu sebelum seseorang wanita terdedah kepada virus HPV.

Umur yang disaran untuk mendapatkan vaksin ialah antara 10 hingga 30 tahun kerana ketika ini tindak balas badan terhadap vaksin jauh lebih baik.

“Perlu ingat, walaupun sudah mendapatkan suntikan vaksin, wanita masih perlu jalani ujian lumuran pap kerana vaksin yang ada sekarang hanya memberi perlindungan kepada beberapa jenis virus HPV, iaitu jenis paling kerap menyebabkan kanser pangkal rahim dan seseorang wanita masih berisiko mendapat jangkitan ini.

“Paling penting ialah mesti berani jalani ujian. Jangan biarkan diri anda dalam keadaan tidak tahu kerana ini adalah punca yang menyebabkan banyak kes kanser pangkal rahim sukar diselamatkan,” katanya.

The dating scene

Most students get their first taste of freedom at college, but a lack of maturity can have negative consequences. Couples and counsellors share their views about relationship trends among young adults.

IT started off with a peck on the cheek. Then came the kissing and hugging.

And before they knew it, their tops were off. But half way through the process, Mark  decided to pull away.

“I did not want to go all the way because I was worried that my girlfriend might get pregnant,” says Mark while recalling his first intimate contact with his girlfriend Julie.

According to Mark, 21, Julie is his 10th girlfriend.

Before he asked Julie out, he was actually seeing a girl he met at another college. But things didn’t work out for the young couple, so Mark decided to break up with the girl and started going out with Julie.

“I don’t take pride in the number of relationships I’ve had. In fact, I feel bad when I think about it because people see me as a playboy,” he says.

College is where most young adults get their first taste of freedom, be it through dating, drinking or driving.

After all, who can blame them for wanting to explore new and exciting boundaries after 11 years of schooling in a simple and protective environment?

Depending on how an individual defines ‘puppy love’ and ‘relationship’, some college students claim that they have been in and out of relationships since high school, with or without their parents’ knowledge.

Just ask 20-year-old Alice, who claims that she has been in more than 10 relationships.

On their anniversary, Alice’s current boyfriend of two years booked a hotel suite at a five-star hotel in Kuala Lumpur to celebrate the occasion, complete with a romantic dinner and gifts.

So… did Alice come home that night after dinner?

“I told my parents that I was going to a friend’s place for a sleep over,” says the college student from Petaling Jaya.

Let’s face it: the forbidden fruit is enticing. Young adults are constantly exposed to sexual imagery.

On television, American drama series like Gossip Girl and 90210 portray steamy relationships and carefree lifestyles of students as the norm. Unsurprisingly, this is a major concern to some parents.

According to the Parents Television Council, a non-partisan education group, Gossip Girl conveys a message that sex is “a tool used to manipulate people”.

There are also plenty of kissing scenes and skimpy clothing which some parents may find it too offensive for their teenaged children’s viewing.

Casual attitude

Some young college couples embark on a relationship with little or no expectation of long-term commitment.

A check by StarEducation with college students, aged between 18 and 23, reveals that their relationships can last as short as two months, and no longer than two years.

Their casual attitude is worrying, as many of them do not understand the consequences. They think it’s normal to get in and out of relationships.

It is a form of approval and the need to feel wanted. College students are curious about their newfound freedom that often involves new and wider circle of friends,” says a college counsellor of a private institution in Petaling Jaya.

“But they have not understood the meaning and importance of commitment so they tend to follow their heart. They would probably go ‘Oh, I’m feeling good about this. Let’s go out’ in a very casual way to their object of affection. If the girl says yes, then you would feel you are accepted,” she says.

College student Derek, 20, says hugging and kissing are common and seen as ‘acceptable’ in the college dating scene.

“Couples who claim that they don’t kiss and hug are lying,” says Derek.

Some would engage in pre-marital sex without thinking twice, while others would practise abstinence.

Alice says her boyfriend refused to have sex with her because of his religious beliefs.

“His religion does not encourage him to have pre-marital sex so even though we have spent the night before, we didn’t do it.

“But I wouldn’t want to have sex with him either because I am worried that I might get pregnant,” she says.

Many of the college students cite “unwanted pregnancy” as their primary concern during the interview, when young couples planning to go into a sexual relationship.

It is also found that the college students are not worried about sexually transmitted infections (STI).

Derek says his girlfriend of five months, who is a devout Christian, is completely against the idea of pre-marital sex.

“There have been a couple of times where we both got really turned on but she doesn’t want to do it … which I respect her for.

“Even if she had said yes, I am not sure if I would have wanted to do it because I have a lot of things that I want to achieve such as setting up my own business after completing my degree.

“Protection is not 100% so an unplanned pregnancy is the last thing I want right now,” he says.

The ‘Cool’ identity

While some college students think it would make them appear ‘cool’ among their peers to have a new boyfriend or girlfriend every month, little do they know that it could actually backfire.

It could have an opposite effect which may affect their image and reputation, besides causing emotional damage to those they broke up with.

A counsellor says that students’ casual attitude when it comes to dating is worrying, as many of them do not understand the consequences.

Carrie agrees, saying that many get distracted and lose focus on the important things in life.

“They seem to think that the only thing that really matters is the relationship they are in. Some failed their exams, delayed their course of study and even had to resit for exams.

“This is simply because they do not know how to prioritise,” she says.

She adds that some students would engage in pre-marital sex and even abusive relationships, which can trigger destructive behaviours and consequences such as dropouts, abortion, cohabiting, teenage pregnancy and so on.

“They need to understand that there are emotional scars and physical damages. Broken relationships are not easy to mend. Young people may not be able to cope with it effectively.

“Some just stay away and completely stop acknowledging each other. On the other hand, we see extreme cases where they hurt themselves or try to commit suicide because of a failed relationship,” she says.

Student counselling services is a good place to seek objective advice should college students need guidance on relationship issues.

At Sunway, the counselling unit has received positive response from students.

“Based on last year’s statistics, 21% of students who come to our department to seek counselling services were boy-girl relationship and family issues related.

“Some students choose to walk in while some cases (students) are referred by their lecturers,” she says.

“We believe in a wholesome education experience and want to help them complete their studies succesfully. So when students experience problems, we encourage them to come and talk to our counsellors,” she says.

Carrie agrees, saying that students need to have an appropriate channel to share their problems.

“The college is also responsible for educating the teenagers on respectfulness and abstinence. It’s vital for the college to take on this role and not leave it entirely to the parents.

“However, it can be a tricky situation and difficult for the college to interfere, especially when it’s considered a personal problem.

“Unless they come to us, it can be difficult for us to lend our support,” she says.

What can parents do?

The dilemma that every parent goes through when it comes to educating their children about relationships and sex.

The parents should buy reading materials related to the topic for her teenaged children to read, and follow up with a discussion.

“Parents can play an effective role in helping their children understand the responsibilities that come with being in a relationship.

“They could help them set priorities by talking to their children and find out if they can really cope with their studies should they choose to be in a relationship.

The parents also should sends them for talks or camps on understanding the opposite sex.

Carrie says parents can take on the role of a friend.

“They can offer their opinions and share their own experience without coming across as too harsh or controlling, and you will find children more likely to open up to their parents.

“However, you may find that many Asian parents tend to be very uptight and domineering so much so that their teenage children find it difficult to approach them, and insecure to discuss any matters, let alone relationship problems.

“Many parents feel uncomfortable to talk about relationships and may just leave it to the children to ‘discover’ for themselves, which may yield negative results,” she says.

Jambatan Menghubungkan Labuan Dengan Tanah Besar Sabah

Jambatan hubungkan Labuan, tanah besar Sabah berdaya maju.

KAJIAN oleh Universiti Kebangsaan Malaysia dan (UKM) dan Universiti Malaysia Sarawak (Unimas) mendapati cadangan bagi pembinaan jambatan sepanjang 11 kilometer (km) menghubungkan Labuan dengan tanah besar Sabah adalah berdaya maju dari segi ekonomi.

Ketua Pengarah Perundingan Projek Jambatan Labuan-Menumbok, Prof Dr Haji Shariff AK Omang Al Haj, berkata laporan menyeluruh kajian itu sudah disiapkan dan akan diserahkan kepada Kementerian Wilayah Persekutuan dan Kesejahteraan Bandar.

Beliau yang juga Pengarah Kolej Antarabangsa Labuan Universiti Malaysia Sabah (UMSKAL) kajian yang mengambil masa selama 11 bulan itu menyarankan kemungkinan tiga laluan bagi jambatan itu, iaitu dari sebelah selatan, tengah dan timur. Laluan timur, katanya akan menghubungkan Tanjung Aru ke Mempakul yang berdekatan dengan Menumbok di tanah besar Sabah dan dianggap sebagai paling praktikal kerana tidak mengganggu laluan perkapalan komersial atau laluan feri Labuan-Menumbok.

Laluan tengah pula, katanya, melalui Pulau Dahat dan Menumbok (9.3 km), manakala laluan selatan, dari pusat bandar di sini ke Menumbok (11.3 km).

Kedua-dua laluan itu bagaimanapun, katanya, dianggap tidak praktikal kerana mengganggu laluan perkapalan dan membabitkan kos pembinaan yang tinggi.

Shariff berkata, kajian itu menganggarkan kos pembinaan jambatan RM3 bilion dan boleh meningkat kepada RM6 bilion jika lewat disiapkan.

Katanya, kajian itu juga mendapati jambatan itu perlu bagi menyelesaikan masalah akses udara yang terhad dan hubungan laut yang tidak selesa, serta menyediakan kaedah pengangkutan alternatif lebih cepat jika berlaku kecemasan.

– Bernama 19/03/2010

Secretary admits to being a sex addict

A 26-year-old secretary known only as Fiona, has admitted to being a sex addict who used to have sex with strangers every other day, China Press reported.

“I started visiting pornographic websites with my stepbrother when I was 15, and we even had sex,” she said in an interview with Singapore’s Straits Times.

She said she started having one-night stands with strangers four years ago, but only realised she was suffering from sex addiction when she read an article about the condition recently.

“I began receiving treatment 10 months ago but have not fully recovered.

“Whenever I am stressed or have a fight with my family, the urge will come back, but I try to control it by distracting myself with other activities,” she said.

More women getting nastier behind the wheel

Women drivers are getting more aggressive than their male  counterparts, according to an analyst.

Based on the number of traffic summonses issued and court cases against women, a trend of aggressive driving has emerged among the fairer sex, said Malaysian Crime Prevention Foundation analyst Kamal Affandi Hashim.

“Based on what we can see, the attitude of male drivers has improved but women are getting more aggressive.

“Hence, the number of women involved in accidents is on the rise,” he said.

He, however, did not state statistics.

Noting that the attitude of drivers was the main cause of road accidents, Kamal said it was crucial for road users to practise defensive driving.

“Drivers who are aggressive, emotional and distracted while driving are dangerous.

“Most people will, at one time or another, feel like strangling their fellow drivers but it becomes a criminal act when you follow up on that intention with an aggressive act (such as chasing after a vehicle),” he said at the Rakan Trafik@USM road safety campaign at Universiti Sains Malaysia here yesterday.

Malaysian Institute of Road Safety Research (Miros) director-general Prof Dr Ahmad Farhan Mohd Sadullah said Malaysians generally felt that they were “Superman” and would never end up as an accident casualty.

“It’s their attitudes that cause accidents. The think they are invincible, not even wanting to wear safety belts.

“Perhaps it’s ego. They just want to be faster and better than the next driver,” said Dr Ahmad.

He said it was easier for people to change their attitudes than for enforcement bodies to step in.

He added that Miros was working with several insurance companies to reward “good drivers” but the plan would have to get the approval of Bank Negara.

Foreign masseuses coming down with STD

Foreign masseuses here are offering more than just foot massage and this has got the authorities all riled up.

Having found some foot masseuses to be AIDS carriers, the Miri City Council (MCC) is not taking any chances and is toying with the idea of subjecting foreign masseuses employed here to undergo mandatory screening for sexually transmitted diseases (STD).

The council is expected to decide after a meeting with officials from the Environment and Public Health Ministry on Friday when to introduce the by-law that would impose mandatory screening.

MCC plans to subject masseuses to a full-blood test every six months, making it the first local government in the state and possibly even the country to impose such a stringent ruling.

The council has also categorised masseuses as “non-professional’’ workers because under the Malaysian Immigrations Act, foreign masseurs are categorised as “professional workers’’ and are not compelled to undergo health screening before entering Malaysia.

Miri Mayor Lawrence Lai said yesterday that his council had to be extra-stringent with the activities and goings-on in reflexology centres after doctors found foreign masseuses with AIDS.

“Foot massage centres are mushrooming all over our city. There are those that are licensed but there are also many operating illegally. MCC is very worried that these places may become centres spreading sexually-transmitted diseases.

“Our council does not have any by-laws requiring compulsory blood-tests for foreign masseuses. We just follow the Immigration Department’s regulation that categorises these masseurs as professional workers, unlike general workers like construction labourers and housemaids who have to undergo health screening,” he said.

Besides the mandatory screening and re-categorisation of masseuses, Lai said his council has launched regular surprise checks on massage centres, operations against illegal massage outlets and formulated regulations compelling foreign masseuses found with AIDS and STD to leave Miri immediately and bar them from working here.

Lai said there are more than 60 companies that were registered as “foot-massage’’ operators throughout this city.

The Star found that there are many massage centres operating in obscure places located along backlanes of the city’s streets and even inside motels and shoplots.

Even in centres licensed by the council, The Star found some masseuses offering “extra-services’’ upon requests by the clients.

An hour’s service can cost up to RM200, depending on the “physical attributes’’ of these masseuses, some customers told.

Housewife drugged and raped during job hunt

A HOUSEWIFE looking for a job ended up being confined to a hotel room for 11 days and raped by a recruitment agent, reported Harian Metro.

The victim, who was also forced to take drugs during her ordeal, had left her home in Jalan Ipoh at about 5.30pm on March 1 to meet the agent in Selayang for a possible job offer.

The agent is believed to be a member of a drug trafficking syndicate recruiting drug mules.

It is believed that the agent had trailed the victim back to her home after the meeting and used a knife to force her to follow him to a hotel in Chow Kit.

In the hotel room, she was beaten, raped and drugged by the agent.

The housewife only managed to escape on March 12 after she was spotted by her husband’s friend as the agent was taking her to Segambut.

The friend, who knew that the woman had been missing for the past few days, quickly alerted passers-by to her predicament.

The agent tried to flee but was later apprehended by members of the public and handed over to the police.

Intimacy during pregnancy

Numerous concerns often lead to a downturn in sexual activity when a woman is pregnant.

IT IS common for women who are pregnant for the first time, to wonder whether sexual intercourse will affect the developing foetus.

The common questions include whether sexual intercourse will harm the foetus or cause infection and whether it can lead to miscarriage or premature labour.

Another common question in the last trimester of pregnancy is what position to use and if any position is safer than others.

There are many bodily changes in pregnancy that affects a woman’s sex life.

Some women feel sexier. Others are not in the mood, especially when they have nausea and vomiting in the first trimester.

Some women report an increase in libido in the second trimester. When the third trimester comes along, many women report a decrease in libido.

The variation in feelings and experiences are normal. It is important to remember that there is no norm. The feelings and experiences may also vary in the same woman in different pregnancies.

There is an increase in the blood flow to the reproductive organs during pregnancy, causing them to engorge. This increases sensation in some women but is uncomfortable in other women, to the extent that sexual intercourse may be painful.

An orgasm can cause an increase in uterine activity with contractions felt especially in the third trimester. The contractions last a few minutes and then go away, just like the Braxton Hicks contractions.

There may also be changes in the spouse or partner. His interest may wane in the third trimester because of a variety of reasons. It may be because of concern about the health of the pregnant woman and/or fear of harming the pregnant woman and/or the foetus. There may also be anxiety about impending parenthood.

Normal pregnancy

The developing foetus lies in a fluid-filled sac within the uterus. The sac and the uterine muscles protect the foetus from harm. There is a plug of mucus in the cervix that prevents infection from ascending from the vagina into the uterus.

Orgasm may cause some uterine activity which, however, does not harm the foetus. This increased uterine activity is not the same as the contractions that one gets in early labour. So it is safe for women with a normal pregnancy to have sexual intercourse during pregnancy even right up to the time when labour starts.

There is no relationship between sexual intercourse and miscarriage and premature labour in women with a normal pregnancy. In fact, there are reports that women who had regular sex during pregnancy were less likely to go into premature labour.

Sex during pregnancy may also enhance the relationship with the spouse or partner during the pregnancy and after childbirth.

It is important to confirm with the doctor on a regular basis that there are no pregnancy problems and that the pregnancy is normal.

There are certain conditions which, if present, would result in the doctor advising to refrain from sexual intercourse.

The doctor should be consulted without delay if there is bleeding and/or pain during pregnancy, whether associated with sexual intercourse or not.

An obstetric examination and an ultrasound will usually be done to elucidate the cause of the bleeding and/or pain and reassure that the foetus is all right.

The placenta may sometimes lie on the cervix (placenta praevia). In such a situation, the doctor will advise refraining from vaginal intercourse altogether.

If there is recurrent bleeding and there is no placenta praevia, the doctor may advise a reduction in the frequency of sex. This does not mean that one cannot partake of other forms of sexual activity.

The risk of infection to the foetus is not increased if the man does not have a sexually transmitted infection. If he does, it should be treated and once cured, sexual intercourse can be resumed. However, if the man has herpes, it would be advisable to refrain from sexual intercourse. If a pregnant woman gets genital herpes for the first time, there is a small likelihood that the foetus would be infected.

The doctor would also advise the pregnant woman to refrain from sexual intercourse if there is leakage of the fluid in the sac (liquor) surrounding the foetus because of the risk of infection of the liquor and through it, the foetus, as well. If there is a history of weakness of the cervix, it would also be advisable to refrain from sexual intercourse.

As the abdomen increases in size with advancing pregnancy, the woman may be uncomfortable with the traditional man on top position. It is advisable to find alternative positions. By trying out various other positions, the couple will find one that they are both comfortable with.

It is safe to have sexual intercourse in a normal pregnancy. It is important to check with the doctor on a regular basis that there are no pregnancy problems.

The doctor may advise refraining from sexual intercourse when certain conditions are present. One would need to adapt as pregnancy advances.

■ Source:  Dr Milton Lum