Tag Archive: marriage

Let’s face it. When it comes to relationships, convincing a man to commit is usually harder than convincing a woman to commit—especially when we’re talking about marriage. To help explain why that is, I came up with six types of single women who—instead of encouraging guys to come closer—possess traits that encourage men to stay single. For those of you who identify with these types, I’ve included a few tips on how to change your ways—and attract that special someone you’ve been seeking.

1. The “Guy-Friend Girl”

You have friends of the opposite sex. There’s nothing wrong with that, except you may neglect opportunities to connect with other women. This is a red flag for men, because we identify the “guy-friend girl” as someone dependent on flirtation to maintain friendships. An inability to create genuine relationships with women indicates, to us, that you have an insatiable desire for attention from men—that you need them to boost your sense of self-worth. Why would a man even try to win over your affection, when attention from one man probably won’t be enough for you?

By bonding with women you can confide in, you’ll avoid being labeled this bachelorette type and free yourself from the endless cycle of petty flirtation.

2. The Intimidator

You may gain points for getting an MBA from Harvard, or for earning a six-figure salary. Sure, these show off your brain power and financial independence, but they may have also gone to your head. You’re uncompromising, and you lean towards forgiving yourself more than forgiving others. Don’t get me wrong: There’s no problem with having high standards for the man you want to marry. You, however, hold a degree in nitpicking and finding flaws. You tend to hide every ounce of vulnerability inside.

If you think you fit this bill, you may have missed the point of a lifelong partnership. Marriage is about two people growing together—not a woman owning a man. When men look for the one they want to marry, they aren’t searching for the thrill of capturing the domineering vixen who sneers at the simpletons daring to woo her.

Guys go for the girl who gives them the benefit of the doubt instead of instantly judging them. Sure, it’s fine to know what you want and to pat yourself on the back for your achievements. At the same time, you shouldn’t let your independence and success overinflate your ego.

3. The Materialist

How many handbags do you need? Let’s be honest: If you don’t comprehend the word “budget,” and if it takes hours for you to count your pairs of shoes, then you’re guaranteed to scare away any sensible bachelor. Your only hope? Players who want a trophy wife—or changing your perspective on life by concentrating on a new mantra: Living beyond your means is never cool. (Suze Orman can explain this better.)

We all want to enjoy the finer things in life, but hoisting your self-esteem onto a huge mound of credit-card debt is plain irresponsible. Sure, many men may like stylish women with refined taste, but overwhelming yourself with extravagance is a sure sign of an unfulfilled psyche and an unhealthy fixation on possessions.

4. The Family Downer

Sharing a round of laughs about your boyfriend’s quirky brother can be a bonding experience. On the other hand, flat-out criticizing or insulting a family member is a no-no. Call me what you will, but when it comes to commenting on my family, showing a little respect is a dating requirement.

Here’s how to keep your negative opinions about your potential in-laws at bay: Let him ridicule his family first. If he encourages you to join in, feel free to do so. Without this precursor, choose to vent your thoughts to someone who won’t divulge it to him.

5. The Clinger

Sure, sharing quality time with your partner should rank high on your list of fun activities. But craving too much couple time can make you look needy, and can even move your relationship into distress mode. Spending every second together goes beyond counterintuitive; it’s an indication of naivete. Even if you want the intimacy of constantly experiencing life together, it’s important to realize that constant coupledom is just a fantasy. You’ll never merge into one being, and you’ll both always be your own individual. Every happily married couple knows this well.

The “clinger” solution is simple: Understand that your mate has hobbies you don’t, and might never, have an affinity for—and vice versa. Fit in the occasional time away from each other. He’ll respect you for it. If you don’t, he might schedule a permanent break from you.

6. The Pet Fanatic

I have nothing against pets; in fact, I have a few of my own. Now that I’ve stated my disclaimer, let’s continue.

Caring for pets has been proven to enhance people’s lives, especially singles. Nevertheless, hoarding and obsessing over a dozen animals that turn your tiny apartment into a cesspool of fur and dander tells men that you’d rather hang out with pets than with humans.

Remember: No matter how many pets you have, they’re simply no substitute for the human interaction you crave. Yes, animals can help fill the void, but overindulging in pet ownership is the same as spraying yourself with man-repellant.

To help assess where you stand on this list of types, ask your friends for input. You’ll gain insight on how others view you—and on how to improve your chances of attracting a guy you can truly share your life with.

Have you ever wondered “what is the secret to a long and happy marriage?” Our collection of tried and true marriage advice tips will help you answer that very question! These secrets to a happy marriage come straight from the horse’s mouth — those who are happily married!

  1. Never assume.
  2. Compliment more than you criticize.
  3. For each time you vent about your husband/wife to your friends, tell three positive stories.
  4. Remember that it is ok to do things differently (e.g. there is more than one way to peel a potato or fold the laundry).
  5. Always make time for the two of you.
  6. Marry someone that you enjoy listening and talking to.
  7. Remember that marriage is sometimes a bed of roses and sometimes there are thorns.
  8. Remember that the best gift that you can give your children is to love their mother/father.
  9. Be fair! Split the housework, spending money, etc evenly. This way you are never resentful of your partners contributions (or lack of) or expenditures.
  10. Never go to bed angry. (Unless it’s 3a.m. and you’re exhausted, angry, and not thinking straight.)
  11. Remember that people do fight. It’s how you do it that matters.
  12. Before starting an argument, consider if it’s really worth it.
  13. Fight naked. 😉
  14. Agree to disagree.
  15. Never, ever mention the “D” word (divorce).
  16. Do you want to be right or do you want to be married?
  17. Respect each other’s privacy.
  18. Remember that “love is like childhood. You need to learn to share.”
  19. Marriage is not 50/50, it’s two people giving 100/100 all of the time.
  20. Surprise each other now and then.
  21. The secret to a happy marriage is two TV’s!
  22. Have date night!
  23. Never pass up an opportunity to say “I love you”.
  24. Hold hands.
  25. Hug & kiss every day (several times a day actually!).
  26. Always believe that you got better than you deserved.
  27. Be quick to say “I’m sorry”.
  28. Choose the one you love, then love the one you choose.
  29. Keep the in-laws out of your marriage!
  30. Love isn’t always a feeling, it’s a decision.
  31. Hang in there. It’s worth it.
  32. Play nice, play often, love much.
  33. Never air your dirty laundry as a couple in public.
  34. Never keep secrets from each other.
  35. Be each other’s champion. No matter what, take your husband or wife’s side first!
  36. Communication is the key!
  37. Always respect each other.
  38. Never underestimate the power of a good belly-laugh and don’t be afraid to laugh at yourself.
  39. It’s the little things that matter most.
  40. Never use the words ‘Always’ and ‘Never’ in a fight.
  41. It’s ok to argue, but never use curse words to express your anger.
  42. Never compare your marriage to others. What you see on the outside is not always what it is on the inside.
  43. Don’t make love in the same place/position everytime. Variety is the spice of life!

1. Flirt like it’s your first night together.

26e8a4ccc890e09642f1a06783d5feThink back to those early days of dating. Every laugh, lingering look, or under-the-table leg brush was a guaranteed goose bump-giver. Well, you can turn back the clock to that supercharged premarried state by making a simple shift: Start flirting again. Ditch typical dinner convo topics like work, in-laws, and home renovations for entertaining stories or provocative questions like, “Imagine you could go anywhere in the world, right this second — where would it be?” If you’re at a party, slink away, get a couple of drinks, and flirtatiously introduce yourself to your spouse like you’re strangers. It may take them a second to catch on, but once they do, it’ll set a sexier tone for the rest of the night — and remind you both that there’s still a lot to discover about each other.

2. Make your spouse do a double-take.

It’s a miracle that you find each other attractive in ratty sweatpants, but yep, you do. That’s one of the brilliant things about being a couple—being so at ease in each other’s company. But there’s a line between being comfortable and letting yourselves go. (Hint: If you frequently show up to the dinner table in sweaty gym gear or go to bed with zit cream and prickly cactus legs, you’re guilty as charged.)

We’re not saying you need to haul all your loungewear to the nearest dumpster, but make a few tweaks to your routine that will give your partner a chance to ogle you. Break out that lingerie crammed in the back of your drawer. Wear something backless. Shave and put on a nicer shirt than usual when you go out to dinner. It’s about showing your significant other that they’re still worth looking sexy for. Chances are, they’ll return the favor and both of you will reap the benefits.

3. Try something new (channel surfing doesn’t count).

You and your better half love your Saturday morning routine (gym plus Starbucks) followed by your evening routine (Thai takeout plus Netflix), so why mess with scheduled perfection? Well, shaking things up every once in a while keeps the zsa-zsa-zsu in your relationship. According to a study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, couples who participated in activities that they both considered highly exciting but moderately pleasant had a bigger boost in marital satisfaction than those who did activities that were highly pleasant but moderately exciting.

So ban takeout-and-a-movie night once a month and jump outside of your comfort zone. Check out a concert you’d never think to get tickets for, explore a totally different part of town, or dare yourselves to try a new sport like rafting or repelling. The adrenaline rush you’ll have from trying something new will be an aphrodisiac.

4. Pounce … even when you’re not in the mood.

If you’re like most couples, weekday mornings fly by in a haze. You’re rushing out the door and can barely remember to grab your car keys, much less say “bye” with half a bagel in your mouth. Then, at the end of an exhausting workday, it’s a “hey babe, I’m home,” followed by a flop-down on the couch. Sex? Who has time for sex? You’re just too busy to get busy. But by skipping the most intimate act you and your spouse could possibly enjoy together, you’re not doing your relationship — or your libido — any favors.

Here’s why: Intercourse and orgasms trigger oxytocin, the “love hormone,” to be released in your bodies, which makes you feel incredibly fused as a couple. Sex is also the gift that keeps on giving: The more you do it, the more you’ll want to do it, so it actually stokes desire. So set that alarm clock a little earlier for some wake-up action, and put down that pint of mocha pecan postdinner and enjoy another kind of bedroom treat (better yet, bring in the ice cream too). You don’t need Olympic-level performances — just enough enthusiasm to get that married mojo going.

Source: lifestyle.msn